I Do Believe We’re Only Passing Through

I Do Believe We’re Only Passing Through

I’m trying to change things up a bit, so instead of starting with something out of my book of Pop Culture lyrics, I’ve gone with something more chilled and well… awesome, so thank you Ben Howard ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway! It’s Sunday and I’m supposed to be studying, because that’s just where I am in my life at the moment. Then I had a thought and I figured I might as well share it with the world, because we all know that an awesome thought means absolutely nothing if it’s not been followed by some sort of social media upload. Hashtag amirite????!

wink demi

I feel like I’ve spent all this time searching for awesome GIF’s that I’ve lost my train of thought! Anyways. So upon having a long discussion about life as a single twenty something, obviously Tinder found it’s way in there somewhere. When you’re in a relationship, it’s very easy to judge the decisions of the singles in your life.. When you’re on the there side, however, things change and you’re forced to have an open mind about everything. Not thirty minutes after said discussion, I decided to create an account and see what happens. Please know that I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m not looking for a fling, I’m not looking for anything. I just wanted to see what it was like. I was on for a whole of five minutes and quickly felt very intimidated. Some of the guys are really handsome. But also, it made me look at my pictures and question what I should write at the ‘about me’ section, because I want to be appealing. I have to hide my lameness, I should be cool. So I went into a bit of a panic, are the sun glasses too much, my forehead is too big, oh dear, there’s a picture of Alex. Ahhhhh!

phoebe madness

Then I went off of it and took a step back. Why am I doing this? What do I wish to accomplish? I don’t want any of the things that the guys are putting out there (haha) so why would I torment myself, even though it was five minutes, I was already trying to mould myself into a perfect little image for someone else. This completely defeats the purpose of finding yourself and learning to discover what it is that makes you happy and that makes you tick. If I go my entire life changing for person x, who is Rochelle at the end of it all?

We’ve become people who have to be perfect at everything we do. We’re not allowed to make mistakes, because God forbid, it just reiterates how imperfectly human we are. I am not a perfect person. I love singing and I can’t sing to save a life (see what I did there ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). I can’t dance, but I will dance my heart out whenever I get the chance. My jokes are awful, and people laugh at me laughing at my jokes, more than the joke itself. Does that stop me from singing, dancing and telling my awfully hilarious jokes? No! Because it makes me happy. And what am I doing if I’m not happy?

So when I swiped through the profiles of the mostly average guys and read one or two… Maybe three bios, I realised that in-app dating is not really that different to in-bar/coffee shop/restaurant dating. You’re still checking the person out, getting to know the person and then deciding where it will go from there. All of this just happens behind a phone screen. You’re just able to exit a lot easier if you see it’s not going anywhere, which is kinda convenient, I suppose.

BJ Sigh

Still pretty daunting, right? So! As entertaining as it was, I don’t think I’ll be making it my main platformย for well, meeting people. I’m awkward enough as it is, I think this will just make it so much more awkward. And for the record, I really enjoy being on my own. It’s something that I haven’t had the luxury of in so long and it’s so liberating. Do I get lonely, of course, do I miss being the apple of someone’s eye? Sure. But the time alone makes you very appreciative of the time you get to spend with people and it makes you treasure the people in your life so much more.

This time alone has made me realise how much I enjoy being by myself. Which is why I got all flustered about the Tinder thing. I think that for a while, I thought that because I am in no rush to get into a relationship, it made me weird or abnormal. But it doesn’t, the fact that I’m comfortable with my own company shows just how I don’t need someone. We will always want to be with someone, because two is always better than one. Andย there are times in one’s life that solitude and independence are what we need more. Maybe not forever, hopefully not forever, but it should be enjoyed.

taytay

There’s a lot that you learn about yourself when you’re always by yourself. If I could, I’d take a trip into the wilderness, or the mountains and just soak it all in. Away from people and social media, I would take my books and my music, because hello… Books and music. Come on bro.

One of the most amazing things I’ve learnt recently is that when you fight for what you want, you don’t settle for second best. If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, you don’t force them to be. I’ve adopted this ‘eh’ ย attitude (actually, I’ve always had it, it’s just become more prominent) I love people, I love people a lot. But I don’t love a lot of people, so all the love that I have for the people in my life, it’s like, a lot. And when you know the love you have for people and it’s not appreciated, or it’s just swept to the side. Lady. Please.ย You become selfish with your time, your love, your affection. There is always someone who needs something more, so time wasted on someone who isn’t bothered, well bro, thank you and good bye.

People come into your life for a specific purpose, and when it’s good, you’re loved and cherished and when it’s not, you’re left stronger and wiser and so much more badass. You get to a point where you’re like, yeah well, I’m over it. It doesn’t matter what you say, or what you think, I’m still singing Taylor Swift with no regrets!

Pam

Thank you Pam Beesly, for always showing me where my priorities lie ๐Ÿ˜€

Love, Vanilla Candles and Cold Toes,

Rochelle Joy xx

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Video

Ben Howard – Black Flies (Lyrics) – YouTube

How cool is this? Yes, the song is amaze and so is the musician. I love. I just love. I’m not procrastinating by the way… Ok. I am. But I have to get it all out! And! It’s of great benefit to the world because Ben Howard is totally incredible and his music makes you want to float to said awesome happy island ๐Ÿ™‚

Enjoy โค

Ben Howard – Black Flies (Lyrics) – YouTube.

Video

Zedd – Clarity (Official Video) ft. Foxes – YouTube

So I have a younger sister, her name is Carrie-Ann. She hates it when people call her on her full name, so she kinda goes by ‘Carrie’ these days. Anyway, she’s incredibly cool and has impeccable taste in music. When I asked her for some advice on some music for my revamped gym playlist (which is extremely important to me) she suggested this song.

Boy, was she right. I love it. I love it and I just can’t get enough of it. It takes me to a place of pure bliss, a place where it’s just me and my heart rate monitor haha. Seriously, I got my heart rate up to 195 with this song (I even started running. Yes, it’s that good).

I haven’t had the chance to listen to the rest of what this talented artist has to offer, but I’m guessing it’s probably amazing!

Zedd – Clarity (Official Video) ft. Foxes – YouTube.