Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

By now I’m sure you’re well aware that I’m the happy-go-lucky friend that sings and dances at the drop of a hat. So when the happy-go-lucky-friend has an off day, all the other people go ‘what is happening? why isn’t she talking? is she okay?’ and you’re forced to resume the character all your people are used to. What people don’t realize though, is that it’s perfectly normal to have an off day. Even for the person who’s happy all (or most) of the time.

kuzco happy

In all honesty, it takes a lot more effort to be happy all the time, for the sake of other people than when you’re actually happy because you’re genuinely happy. You know? I think I’ve used the word happy too many times, so many in fact that it’s now starting to sound weird. Happy. Ha ha.

Chandler Lol

I think it stems from the fact that a lot of people rely on other people to make them happy or to make them laugh or whatever, and when you’re on the other side of that relationship, it becomes hella draining. With that being said, it’s just as much the fault of the (stars haha, close but not quite) happy-makee as it is the happy-maker (I make up a lot of words). We become so very used to fulfilling the role of the happy-maker that we don’t give ourselves a single moment to be down/sad/annoyed openly to other people, lest we offend them by not being happy.

Care

But then it got me thinking… Why do I do this to myself? Why do I fake being happy for the sake of other people when all I want to do is actually just be my sad self. I’m not a sad person, not at all, I’m as jolly as a unicorn at the end of a rainbow. But I have off days as well and sometimes I want to feel all the feels of those off days. Because if I’m Lady Smilesalot all the time, who am I when I’m not smiling? Who am I? I’m a regular 25 year old who’s most probably smiling on the inside, with my face down. Or, I’m in my room crying about something that made me sad a few weeks ago until I feel better.

Superman

crying

I’m being a lot more dramatic than needs be, but it gets annoying when you’re this person. The person who listens to everyone’s sad soppy stories day in and day out and you’re like, okay, I have issues too you know, but like, whatever. And then you get to the point where I am now, where I’m kinda of bitchy and well, mean. It’s awful actually, because if you’re not that way then you get walked over and ignored because your warmheartedness gets mistaken for ‘I’m a push-over who won’t stand up for myself and talk to you about what’s bothering me’.

self five

What’s funny is that I enjoy standing up for myself. I might come across as a bit of a bitch, but rather that than be the quiet little mousy girl who has to hold in absolutely everything she thinks and feels for the sake of selfish people who want to talk about themselves all the time. I’m happier being truthful and honest about how I feel, than being ‘happy’ because someone else needs me to be. It’s so exhausting being Beyoncé. Haha, that line has no relevance in this sentence.
winning

So hahaha yes, I think this post was one big rant more than anything else, and isn’t that why we have these cute media outlets? Right!  So I’m going to end off like I usually do, by saying that you should go ahead and be awesome, be yourself, love yourself, cherish the things that make you unique and speak your mind. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and be happy when you’re happy and whatever else, when you’re not.

Love and my unrelenting desire to get another tattoo,

Rochelle xx

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Summertime Sadness

Summertime Sadness

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Haha. It’s taken me about five minutes to get this post going because it wouldn’t let me position the picture I’ve wanted to upload (hopefully it’s uploaded by the time this post is readable (hehe))

Anyway. So a while ago I posted about someone who really hurt me by saying hurtful things that weren’t true and ended up ruining our entire (albeit short) friendship. So, after a long time of not seeing him and having all my superiors have my back and ensure that he doesn’t show his face here again… He showed up here today. It was a shock at first and I laughed out loud (literally) at the discomfort of it all. Luckily he’s in a different department and isn’t allowed anywhere near my department, I have really cool superiors 😉 But this isn’t too big a company, so people are bound to run into each other. Which left me feeling the need to look over my shoulder every five minutes.

Getting back on track, I had a long, hard look at him earlier and… he looks awful. His hair is disheveled, he’s clothes are miss-matched and he’s demeanor is that of a sad and hopeless person. This then opens my heart and awakens the instinct within most girls that have the need to fix the broken douche bags of our era. Which is a step in the worst direction.

What is it about girls? Why do we feel that we have to fix the people we feel are broken? All I want to do is go up to him, tell him that I forgive him for what his done (he still hasn’t apologized btw) and that I want to start out friendship over. Will I? Probably not, because if I do, he will probably do what he did again and leave me exactly where I was all those months ago. Which is not a very happy place to be. So I though I’d take a few moments to write all this down, to the girl who feels she can fix the guy who’s hurt her over and over again. To the girl who wants to be the hero for the guy who is most definitely the villain. Bare in mind, that this guy isn’t even my boyfriend. He’s simply a once-has-been-friend. That is how much I care for the people in my life. I will do whatever I can to ensure that they feel loved and cared for. Until it gets shoved in your face and you end up under the train, again.

My heart actually hurts at the thought of this. That there are people out there, just like me who want to help people, who want people to live their best lives and excel at what they do. I think as we mature we realise the people who will be worth the trouble. The people who, when in need will be grateful when you’re there for them. For the rest who are so hurt and broken beyond repair, learn your lesson and don’t make the same mistake twice. Let life run it’s course in their lives and know your worth. If people don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, walk away. Don’t settle for second best, not even in your friendships- you deserve more than that 🙂

Love yourself enough to know that the people in your life are kept there by choice. There will always be the people who you literally cannot get rid of. But the ones you choose to have in your life is up to you 🙂 know your worth and don’t waste your precious pearls on filthy pigs.

That’s all for now.

Rochelle Joy xxx