Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

By now I’m sure you’re well aware that I’m the happy-go-lucky friend that sings and dances at the drop of a hat. So when the happy-go-lucky-friend has an off day, all the other people go ‘what is happening? why isn’t she talking? is she okay?’ and you’re forced to resume the character all your people are used to. What people don’t realize though, is that it’s perfectly normal to have an off day. Even for the person who’s happy all (or most) of the time.

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In all honesty, it takes a lot more effort to be happy all the time, for the sake of other people than when you’re actually happy because you’re genuinely happy. You know? I think I’ve used the word happy too many times, so many in fact that it’s now starting to sound weird. Happy. Ha ha.

Chandler Lol

I think it stems from the fact that a lot of people rely on other people to make them happy or to make them laugh or whatever, and when you’re on the other side of that relationship, it becomes hella draining. With that being said, it’s just as much the fault of the (stars haha, close but not quite) happy-makee as it is the happy-maker (I make up a lot of words). We become so very used to fulfilling the role of the happy-maker that we don’t give ourselves a single moment to be down/sad/annoyed openly to other people, lest we offend them by not being happy.

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But then it got me thinking… Why do I do this to myself? Why do I fake being happy for the sake of other people when all I want to do is actually just be my sad self. I’m not a sad person, not at all, I’m as jolly as a unicorn at the end of a rainbow. But I have off days as well and sometimes I want to feel all the feels of those off days. Because if I’m Lady Smilesalot all the time, who am I when I’m not smiling? Who am I? I’m a regular 25 year old who’s most probably smiling on the inside, with my face down. Or, I’m in my room crying about something that made me sad a few weeks ago until I feel better.

Superman

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I’m being a lot more dramatic than needs be, but it gets annoying when you’re this person. The person who listens to everyone’s sad soppy stories day in and day out and you’re like, okay, I have issues too you know, but like, whatever. And then you get to the point where I am now, where I’m kinda of bitchy and well, mean. It’s awful actually, because if you’re not that way then you get walked over and ignored because your warmheartedness gets mistaken for ‘I’m a push-over who won’t stand up for myself and talk to you about what’s bothering me’.

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What’s funny is that I enjoy standing up for myself. I might come across as a bit of a bitch, but rather that than be the quiet little mousy girl who has to hold in absolutely everything she thinks and feels for the sake of selfish people who want to talk about themselves all the time. I’m happier being truthful and honest about how I feel, than being ‘happy’ because someone else needs me to be. It’s so exhausting being Beyoncé. Haha, that line has no relevance in this sentence.
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So hahaha yes, I think this post was one big rant more than anything else, and isn’t that why we have these cute media outlets? Right!  So I’m going to end off like I usually do, by saying that you should go ahead and be awesome, be yourself, love yourself, cherish the things that make you unique and speak your mind. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and be happy when you’re happy and whatever else, when you’re not.

Love and my unrelenting desire to get another tattoo,

Rochelle xx

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Bold is the New Black

Bold is the New Black

Be Brave

It’s Thursday! One of my all time favourite days in the week because it’s one day closer to the next day which brings us all one day closer to Christmas 🙂 Seriously, I’m not one to live for the weekend, but I do love me a good ol’ Thursday.

Anyway. Update on life and such,  I’ve been promoted! Yay! After my three month probation period I have been moved from reception to rentals (just one bar below management, which is part of the long term plan). So although it’s a lot more stress and longer hours, it is a lot more rewarding. It’s funny, because I was pretty bummed about being a receptionist… I was so bored and felt so under-valued. Before I knew it, I was moved to the rentals office to help out with the workload and then, bam! In the rentals office permanently! So yay. This is really great. Who knows, I might even be moving into my own place by sometime in next year 😉

Anyway, life is good at the moment and I want to make a note thereof. I also want to note the fact that life isn’t always a suck-fest. And yes, it is a suck-fest  a lot of the time, but there are moments which make the rest of it all come together 🙂 Haha, this is sounding like a lame tribute to ‘sticking out the hard times’ but it’s not!

I had a moment on the way home yesterday, when I thought briefly, about my childhood. It had it’s tough, wearing flip-flops in winter moments… and moments where I would wear hand me downs and try to wear it confidently, like someone stylish. I thought about the fact that if 10 year old me saw 24 year old me, 10 year old me would say ‘I want to be like that one day’. And that thought makes me smile. It makes me smile that I’m doing something with my life. It makes me smile that regardless of all that life has thrown in my face, I can walk about with my head high and be confident about where I am now.

I still have a long way to go, i.e. owning my own vehicle and living in my own apartment (which is soon on it’s way mind you) and then, of course we have the wanderlust I have boiling inside my bones every single day. So although I have a lot more I want to accomplish in my life, I’m well on my way to get there 🙂

It’s taken me a while to realize that it’s not the things you have in your life that matter in order to make you happy though. If you are driving the fastest car, or you have the most elaborate wardrobe, or even if you’ve traveled t o every continent. If you’re not happy despite all those things, neither of it actually matters. Yes, you can talk up a storm at a dinner party and your contribution to the ‘meeting the relatives of your other half’ will be a lot more interesting, but who are you underneath all those things? If you’re relying on those things to make up for a shitty personality then… Shame. And if you’ve accomplished all those things and have a stellar personality, then high fives all round to you friend!

It’s great to have a list of things being ticked off your list, but it matters nothing if those are the things you are counting on to fulfill you as a person. It sounds silly, but it happens. *Extreme vulnerability ahead* I often find myself feeling less worthy of someone’s attention or time when I think about the things I haven’t yet done in my life, like my lack of travels or my lack of a driver’s license. So I often measure myself to those things. Which, if you think about it logically, is rather stupid. I remember as a child, when I got my first cellphone, thinking that when I have one with games, I will be so much cooler… Then, when I had one with a colour screen… Then, when I had a flip phone… Then… then… then… Now, years later, I’m still doing that. I’m still waiting for my next  ‘when I have, I will be’. The truth is that I need to be first. I need to be confident where I am, with what I have before the rest of it all comes along.

It sucks the joy out f where you are currently if you’re constantly looking down on yourself and waiting for the next phase. Instead, enjoy the phase of your life that you’re in currently. It will make that phase flow a whole lot smoother 🙂

I think that’s all from me for now. Until next month! Haha

Love and jelly sprinkles,

Rochelle xx

Because Sometimes We Just Need To Dance It Out

Because Sometimes We Just Need To Dance It Out

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Whoohoo! Thursday, my apparent favourite day of the week, except when you’re forced to leave gym early and then rush to catch a bus to work and end up sitting next to the noisiest group of people on the entire planet. Oh, and did I mention that I’ve become a bit dramatic over the last little while?

Figures. Quick recap, my previous place of employment was going through some troubles, so they ended up telling us all to find new jobs! What a blast. That was happening at the same point that I started my end of semester exams and to top it all off… A beloved friend died, without warning one Sunday morning. So yes. It’s been a crappy while. That was last year! This year, though I managed to take my first holiday in TWO YEARS, passed my learner’s test and started at a new job 🙂 I’ve made some (two actually) really good friends and so far, so good.

Today though, is a bit of a suck fest. It just didn’t start out well. And all I want to do it get onto a spinning bike and cycle until my heart rate monitor tells me I’m about to have a heart attack… Okay, maybe not really… But still. Anyway, it’s just one of those days 🙂 When you’re so busy and all the people in your life are busy as well, one tends to become lonely. Even though I’m surrounded by people all the time (which gets on my nerves almost 90% of the time, thanks to the introvert in me) it’s still very easy to kind of become lost in it all. I’ve become so used to listening to people and their things that it’s as if I’ve almost lost track of my own things.

This gets dangerous when you’re not getting the attention you need from the people you need the attention from. Oh, I’ve never looked into star signs and all that, but I’ve been told that I have the qualities of a Leo… Which I am, #obvs and with that comes the need/love for/of attention. Up until this point in my life I’ve never been able to relate to that… Until one of my two friends (at work haha) told me that the need for attention doesn’t always mean ‘all eyes on you in a large crowded room’ and that it could very easily mean the undivided attention from the person you’re talking to or a person whom you love. So. When this needed attention doesn’t come from the person you need it from… You start finding other people to give it to you. We’re selfish beings, and it’s so easy to slip into  bad habits and do things that will be regretted later.

Which is why I’ve decided that during this time of loneliness, I will focus on things other than myself (like writing a post about how I feel.. haha) and actually just getting shit done. It’s a lot easier said than done, because well… We want to feel that we matter… That if we’re absent from a place that our presence will be missed and that there is someone out there that is willing to sit and listen to us moan about shopping lists and assignments and stupid people in your space.

And then there are times when you can’t ignore things and you just blast your favourite song on your iPod and dance it the hell out. So what if you’re not as curvy as the girl Meghan Trainor is referring to, you love the song? You freaking enjoy singing about “All the right junk in all the right places”

Life is so freaking short, there is no reason we should live it sulking around about itsy bitsy crap that really won’t mean a thing in a few months. And when all else fails… Just do something that will make you smile and  inflate your heart, because at the end of that day, that’s what it comes down to. Life is filled with so much meh and bleh and we’ve become so used to it. Well. Bleh. Why not smile and run and jump and dance in the midst of all the bleh?!

Disclaimer: I am not running and jumping, although I am sitting at my desk listening to one of my favourite albums without my shoes, cos I’m cool like that 😉 xx

Smiles inside my heart,

Rochelle xx
Read more: Meghan Trainor – All About That Bass Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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Recipe for a Miracle Part 1 | Jon Jorgenson – YouTube

You know how you always seem to hear the right thing at the right time, exactly when you need it? When you’re scrolling through your Facebook/Twitter/Instagram feed and someone posts an inspirational quote which feels as if it was posted specially for you? Well, watching this video made me feel this way.

It’s a short, seven minute sermon and it reaches deep (yo.). It’s incredible how God can give you exactly what you need at the exact time you need it 🙂

I’ve been feeling a bit lost lately, as if I’m floating from one task/assignment/deadline to the next and I’m barely managing. Until this weekend, when it all came tumbling down and I realised (with the help of my best friend) that I had lost my motivation. I lost the reason I had started studying in the first place. I lost the love of it, the thought of doing it to help people and have an amazing life worth living. I was so busy making sure everything was done and in order, making sure everyone else was happy and staying afloat, that I starting sinking. I forgot about God’s promises for my life, that He holds me and He is my comforter. I forgot that God can use me, exactly where I am and use the space that I’m in as preparation for what lies ahead.

This happens often though, it happens to each of us at some point or another and the turning point is when you get yourself together, cry it our and find your inspiration again. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Realise that your life, although performed by you, is not in your hands. You were created for a purpose greater than you could ever imagine 🙂

So even though it’s Monday and I started my day with decaff coffee (really guys, decaff?) I had an awesome gym session and therefore an awesome start to my day and week! I know I’ll have low moments again, but as long as I have a solid support system and a strong heart, I know that I have nothing to fear.

The Anima Series is incredible, be sure to check out some more of their videos 🙂

Love and a Happy Heart,

Rochelle Joy 🙂 xx

via Recipe for a Miracle Part 1 | Jon Jorgenson – YouTube.

I love The Person I’ve Become

I love The Person I’ve Become

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Hello friends 🙂 It’s been far too long. Please mind the delay, I’ve entered my exam period (about 3 weeks ago) and I have my last exam in just under 2 weeks, so yay me!

When I saw this post on dateyourlove.net this morning, I thought it was absolutely beautiful. I don’t think I’m at the point int my life where I have everything together and I’m just in the prime of my life, but I do feel that I have it about as together as I could possibly have it at this point in time 🙂 (Such a long sentence jeez!)

What I will say is that at this point, is that I do love the person I’ve become. If you knew me prior to 2010, you’d know that the person I was then, is vastly different from the person writing this post now. I don’t think it was that much of a personality change, or rather, transformation as it was a style transformation. I believe that I was always wonderfully bubbly and creative, but it was hidden underneath layers made up of Superhero obsessions, over-sized clothing from the men’s section and skater shoes. It’s amazing what a boost of self confidence one gets from looking good. It’s always said that you have to feel good and it will show in your appearance and the way you conduct yourself and blah blah blah. But it was different for me. I never felt confident (still something I’m working on, daily), I felt OK with my appearance and never thought of myself as beautiful or anything close to the way I feel about myself now.

But we grow up. We learn that hiding our true potential from the world only holds us back from being the amazing people we are. It’s not easy, when you’re an introvert and you kinda want to keep people at a safe distance, it’s tricky to be well, amazing. But there comes a point where being shy isn’t as cute as we thought it was when we were in high school; when it’s the bold girl who get’s the position because she’s confident in who she is and won’t back away from a challenge. Seriously, the shy girl will not, I repeat, will not get the corner office. Nothing in life comes from shying away into corners and waiting for people to drag you out. You have to be courageous and go after what you want in life, there are no two ways about it.

I want to look back at this day and smile at how far I’ve come, the same way I look back at my former self. And with regard to the confidence, if there’s anything that Joyce Meyer has taught me (and she’s taught me plenty) it’s that you don’t have to FEEL confident to BE confident (or something like that). And it rings true almost every single day of my life 😀 I don’t see myself as the person I am, but the person I’m working toward being. I dress myself for the job that I want, not that job I have (Thank you Mr. Donaghy). It’s these little things that we do that add up in the end, and in the end, we’re the people we want to be 🙂

That was such a mouthful! I feel as if I’ve written enough to keep me going for the next little while 😉 kidding! Kidding!

Please remember, that all these things, they’re not easy. It’s not easy to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful and capable of great things; that you’re destined for so much more than you could imagine; that you were created to make a difference; that you were made to love yourself and love others. It sounds great in theory, but it’s a daily fight (psssht, more like a battle). I can assure you, it gets easier and easier and then you move onto something greater 🙂

The whole ‘fake it till you make it’ bit, haha it’s something I thought I’ll never have to do, but hey, it works. Before you know it. you’re genuinely being confident and walking around with the strut of a Victoria’s Secret model. If you’re not inclined to the whole strutting your stuff like a model vibe, then be who it is you want to be.

Be true to who you are 🙂

Many smiles,

Rochelle xx

 

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Having a Fear of Failure

Having a Fear of Failure

-This, is brilliant. This is not uncommon. More people experience this than we give them credit for. It’s such a big word and such a common feeling in people, I can’t believe it isn’t more simple.

It’s quite funny that I stumbled upon this ‘word of the day’ today, because it’s something that hits home, it hits home so hard I think I lost my breath for a moment when I saw it.

I’ve applied for UNISA (The University of South Africa) this year, to study Industrial & Organisational Psychology and I’ve been in the process of calling them and finding out about my courses and all that. I’ve called about 5 times, each time I was put in line, at one point I was 20th in line. Then this morning, I called literally 15 minutes after their offices opened and I was put 6th in line. Eventually I got through to an operator who l told me I’d be contacted before the end of the day. So yes, today is going to be an interesting battle-of-my-mind type of day.

What you need to know, is that I give the title ‘Doubting Thomas’ a whole new form. Not only because I’m female (haha) but because I find it very hard to believe in myself. I have the most faith in people and the government and the world as a whole, but when it comes to me, it’s just not happening. I’m working on it though (almost daily) so, usually any form of confidence I need to muster, come in the smallest drips and drabs.

When I saw this, I decided that I’m not going to put myself into a box. I’m not going to spend the entire day worrying about the outcome of today. Whether I get accepted or not, I’m going to pursue my dream. I’m going to walk in the path that God has laid out before me, because no matter the outcome, His will will prevail and it is so much greater that what I could ever imagine 🙂

It’s so simple typing these words, because it’s what’s in my heart. But, when the time comes for me to put them into action, that God-inspired self confidence I just wrote with, diminishes and I’m left on an island of self-pity and worthlessness before I realize that my island is in fact not an island at all, but an illusion of fear that makes me feel isolated and alone.

The thing that I need to remind myself of constantly though, is that I have no reason to fear 🙂 God has my back, He looks out for me like a dad who assists his child on her first bike ride. He smiles and cheers me on when I’ve ridden off without my training wheels, and if I lose my balance and fall he’s right there beside me to help me up and get me on my feet again 🙂

The thing to remember is that there are more people out there who feel this way. Who are fearful of not succeeding in life, who feel that they aren’t good enough. To all those people, there is hope! It’s an on-going journey to finding that you are good enough, that as long as you follow your heart, have faith in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in and encourage you, you’ll be well on your way to great things darling 😉

Awesome Fitness Inspired Title Needed

Awesome Fitness Inspired Title Needed

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So I’ve been thinking about doing a post like this for some time now! It’s so exciting! I thought about it all of yesterday 😀 Ah. Good times. I think that it’s extremely important to make the best of every workout and I’m going to help show you how 🙂 Please note, these are my personal tools and they might be weird for some, but hey- you never know unless you try, right 🙂

  1. Dress To Impress (yourself): By this I mean, make sure that you look good in what you wear to the gym. It’s like anything else, you wouldn’t go out to do your shopping in your pj shorts would you? No. So, make sure you look good. Invest in a nice, comfortable gym pant and vary your t-back tops so that you don’t feel dull while sweating like a.. well.. yes. I have yet to get myself to splurge on a decent pair of pants, but my tops are full of life and color and always seem to boost my mood when I put them on. Remember, this is not for anyone but yourself. You’re dressing so that YOU feel good, not for anyone else 🙂
  2. Create a Kick-Ass Playlist: Truth be told, this is by far my number one motivator. Knowing that I’ll be listening to a few of my favorite guilty pleasure songs… Ah, it gets me all excited just thinking about it. You don’t have to spare anyone’s feelings when creating your dream work out playlist. I’ll share this, because well, how can i not… The title to my playlist is “Let’s Get Hot” because this is my intention while working out! Don’t judge me 😀 It contains the likes of Taylor Swift (22), Selina Gomez (Come ‘n Get It), Cake (Short Skirt & Long Jacket) a Justin Bieber & Will.I.Am colab, Britney Spears & Will.I.Am (Scream & Shout) there are some Ellie Goulding and Florence & The Machine, ISO… To name a few. I can honestly say, there are few things I enjoy as much as planking to Gangnam style. I say that with boldness, there are very, very few things that will get me through planking and tapping my fingers to it while my arm and ab muscles feel the burn, makes it all the while endurable 🙂
  3. Create a Routine For Yourself: Know what it is that you need to do during your work out. Don’t go in blindly and expect to wing it. You might do well and all, but it’s so much more motivating to plan out your workout before hand. Set goals for yourself, it feels amazing once you’ve accomplished them. You’ll set yourself greater goals and see yourself get stronger and fitter and be encouraged to work harder. It’s wonderful when you’re able to see yourself move from the 2 kg dumbbells to the 3 kg dumbbells. Yes, it hurts like hell, and you can barely lift your arm long enough to straighten your hair the next morning, but hey! There was a time when the 2 Kg dumbbells had that effect! Moving forward doll!
  4. Know Your Equipment This is so important! And this cannot be done over night (trust me!) You need to scope out what it is that you need to be able to do and which set of equipment targets which area of your body and so on. I would recommend this be done with a friend, a trainer or if you’re like me, on a day when the gym is a bit empty and there aren’t that many people around to watch you stare at the screen all bewildered and confused. I try to do this often, I’m a creature of habit. I know which machines have my name on them and I don’t enjoy venturing into the unknown. I do this on those before mentioned not-so-full-gym days, or when I’m not in too  much of a rush and have the patience with myself (which doesn’t happen often!). Also, watch what the people around you are doing in between singing Beauty and a Beat in your head 😉 that’s quite an awesome way to learn as  well. Watch and learn baby, watch and learn.
  5. Fake It ‘Till You Make It: You don’t have to feel confident to be confident. This is one of the little nuggets I keep inside my small pocket most times. I learnt it from Joyce Meyer (she’s the best). You really don’t have to know what you’re doing. After following Point 4, you learn and your confidence just increases. When I started working out, I never knew what I was doing. But I missioned through and somehow, my faked confidence grew on me and now that’s real! I walk with my head high. In my mind I already have the body I’m working so hard towards 🙂 It’s all in the mind! Seriously! Don’t be that insecure little 14 (or 20) year old you once were. You’re not her. You’ve grown up and you’ve felt pain and you’ve learnt that feeling smaller than everybody around you isn’t worth it! So what if little miss perfectly proportioned boobs has a thigh gap and long, toned legs that look as if they were sculpted by angels? You have your own goal, set to your body. Not to anyone else’s 🙂 You’re gorgeous! Work it girl! Confidence is so sexy, let your confidence shine from the inside out!

There you have it! My 5 part guide to being totes amaze at the gym! These are things that I live by, so you know… It’s what I do and I’m proud of it! It’s not always easy not envying the tight butt of the girl in front of you in the Pilates class. But it gets better with time, your confidence increases, your insecurities decrease and your butt tightens! Haha 😀

Ok guys! It’s bikini season, lets get our gorgeous on 😉