Wow Fireworks. I’ll Save These For Later

Wow Fireworks. I’ll Save These For Later

Hello! Okay, so today’s post is inspired by one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE (Christmas) MOVIES! I’ve always loved the movie Home Alone. The first two were brilliant, the second was… okay, but like, not anything to go to town about. The fourth was dog shit awful. I watched it more out of obligation to the series… Nothing more. It’s still by far the best movie of my childhood (alongside My Girl and Free Willy) it’s a bit creepy at points, but that’s okay. Show me a movie today that is so freakishly absurd and hilarious without being vile and completely inappropriate. I know that he’s all grown up and not as cute as he once was (I mean,  who really is, besides the most amazing Ryan Gosling #habbahabba)

HA eyes

Where to begin. So in this new phase where I’m able do things and kind of, make up my own my mind and stuff. I’m realizing that it’s really good to do things on your own. There’s a feeling of freedom and independence that comes with doing things by yourself and being able to simply, well, be by yourself. It’s weird sometimes, when I’m home alone and the only time I end up talking to someone is when I voice note my sister haha. But even then it’s not that bad, because I’m able to enjoy my own company from time to time! It’s an important thing to realize, because we’re constantly surrounded by people and we’re often terrified of being by ourselves, lest we have to deal with all the deep and dark corners of our lives we’re more than comfortable to ignore when we’re around other people.

HA SHopping

Be generous. This movie, with it’s vast craziness taught me that it’s good to be nice to people! Even if you don’t want to! The world needs more altruism and it starts with you and I darling. And, you don’t have to go full force and be mother Mary all in one go. Ease yourself into it, if you’re like me, you’ll add a little sass to your generosity; which I now realize is something I might have learnt from this movie in the first place! Thanks Kev 😉

HA Change

Heart break sucks. It sucks more than anything sucky I’ve experienced, so yes. Once you’ve been hurt it takes a toll on your heart and it becomes a bit hard after a while. You’ll start to question life and why you even try to love people when you just get hurt all the time. Your heart breaks all over again when you think that you’ve finally healed and that hurts like a bitch. But it’s important to know that you will heal completely and that you will be whole again, maybe not now, or tomorrow, or even next year, but you will be able to smile without the sadness looming behind your eyes. There is niceness left in you, it may be somewhere way, way deep down, but t’s there.

HA Heart

Geesh! That went deep quickly! Onto my next point. It’s okay to go absolutely bat-shit crazy. Let your Freak Flag Fly! Do what you need to do to stay true to who you are 🙂 I feel that sometimes we’re so used to norms and culture and adhering to social convention that we kind of becoming a non-unique species and complete creatures of habit. If you want to wear a floral and polka dot outfit combination, you do it. Absolutely love the crop top and skater skirt trend? Then do it unashamedly! Don’t feel like a freak for loving all things hip and mainstream, flip, just do it. If you want to talk in New Girl references for an entire afternoon, then why the hell not. You’re only young once, and you’ll only have this much energy at one point in your life, so make the most of it. Don’t undersell yourself for the sake of someone else. you’re doing yourself a huge injustice. And you will never understand the understated joy of being happy with just being weird haha.

HA CRazy

With that said, don’t take shit from anyone. People are going to hurt you and walk over you and then push you down and walk over you again. People suck actually, but anyway. So! To deal with the sucky people, you’re going to have to stand up for yourself and put your foot down. Don’t allow people to let their negativity dampen your bright smile and don’t allow people to make you feel weak to compensate for their own weaknesses. Stand up for yourself, be brave about your opinions and don’t settle! Baby Llama don’t need no drama!

HA Gun

While we’re on the topic of people and their drama, hold on to the people that make you smile. There will always be the people in your life that you need to hold at arm’s length. There will be the people who screw you over, who break your heart, who make you want to give up your will to live. And then you’ll have those with whom you can’t seem to live without. The ones who you love endlessly, whose mere existence make you glad to be alive. Those who fill your heart with so much love that you can’t help but pass it onto others. Those are the one you need to hold on to.

HA FRiend

That’s all from me for now 🙂  Life is scary and people suck, but if Kevin Mc Callister could make it on his own while his family left the country without him, I’m pretty sure you can make it through today 😉

Love and learning to smile again,

Rochelle Joy xx

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Thirty Minus Five Years Old

Thirty Minus Five Years Old

Whoohoo! Birthdays are the very best aren’t they? Well, they are, when you’re four years old, and you have a party the next day with all the cool kids you’ve invited and you know there’ll be cake and presents and party packs! Oh how fun birthdays were when we were younger.

Birthday Tangled

Well, those were simpler times. Now though, we have expectations and often times those expectations are not met. Also, now the thought of growing a year older isn’t as appealing as it was when we were younger. Because now, with age comes a whole lot of extra things that we don’t really want, but they’ll come anyway because well, they’re just like that.

So this year, I’m turning twenty five, whoop! And I’m not that petrified. Yes, I can no longer sing ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m turning twenty two’ and quite frankly, I couldn’t sing that song for the past two years, so I think I’ll manage haha. Because as wonderful as it was to have birthday parties at four years old, and even at twenty two, it’s so much better, in a whole new, exhilaratingly terrifying way when you get older.

Birthday Party

There’s something exciting about figuring out your life in your twenties, learning how to budget properly, saving religiously every month and making the tough choice between that adorable polka dot skirt, a Ken Follet book you haven’t read (I can’t believe there are so many) and then well, having food for the rest of the month. And let’s not even mention the love life situation. But with the stress of everyday life, comes a freedom that you smily do not have at four years old. You decide what it is you’re going to do about the condition of your life. After all, it’s just circumstantial, right? Most of the time, you think about your life and go hey, I’m here, this sucks, let’s order some cocktails shall we?!

Birthday Dean

Because at the end of the day, we will look back to these days and count them as the ‘simpler times’ and I don’t want to look back in regret and think that I should’ve enjoyed it more. I don’t want to think that I’ve wasted my twenties being a stick in the mud and not actually playing in the mud. I feel like I say this often, but it’s so important to enjoy where we are at the point we’re at in our lives. Yes, things could be better, but they could also be a hell of a lot worse. So even though I’m not over the moon excited for my birthday tomorrow, it is a big day (yay quarter century!) and I will sum up the courage to be excited about it.

Birthday Lily

We’re so used to having everything together, and when they’re not held together, we start to panic. But this is what life does though, the minute you think you’ve got it figured out, it comes and pulls the rug out from beneath your feet. And when you’re lying there, with your head on the ground and a pain in your butt , take a moment to appreciate what you have in your life. The people who stand beside you and support you and the fact that you’re better off than 70% of the world, is a pretty good thing to be thankful for 🙂

So yay to unconventional birthdays!

Love and The Anticipation of Calorie Free Birthday Cake,

Rochelle xx

Your Love Is Like A Giant Pigeon

Your Love Is Like A Giant Pigeon

Whoop! It’s Friday in this cold part of South Africa and what better way to spend it than to write posts about absolutely anything because, yay! So today I thought I’d round up a few of my favourite Phoebe Buffay (I had to Google the spelling he-he) quotes and kinda just throw them out there.

So here goes, a few things I’ve learnt from Phoebe Buffay.

phoebe pigeon

Firstly, Phoebe has taught me that love isn’t always as peachy and candle lit themed as one is made to believe it is. More often than not, love is messy and it hurts and it gets thrown in your face. Sometimes it’s not reciprocated and that can break you, or you can have it strengthen you and make you more ready for the next time. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing music and your lyrics don’t rhyme… At all. That’s okay.

phoebe drink

Secondly, she taught me that It’s so easy to become comfortable with the way that you’re used to living your life and you get to a point where you’re too scared to venture beyond the fences you’ve built up around yourself. (Taking into consideration the fact that she lived out of a box for most of her childhood.) Not knowing that in so doing, all you’re accomplishing is limiting yourself to new relationships, new experiences and discovering new things about yourself that are actually quote delightful. So have that extra glass of wine if you so please, do it for the kids 😉

phoebe no

We don’t always have to do the things that people want us to do, when we don’t want to do it. People are so used to doing what everyone else is doing, mostly due to #fomo and also, we just want to be a part of everything. You know, there might be a really cool photo opportunity to post onto Instagram. You never know! So it’s okay to say no once in a while, it’s okay to decline an invitation if you’d much rather cuddle up with your favourite book, or just to spend time with very awesome self.

phoebe giggle

It’s okay to get shy and giggle about silly things once in a while. This is a bit of an every day occurrence for me, either way, it’s great! We can take things so seriously sometimes that we genuinely suck the fun out of what might actually be a really sweet moment. That guys you think is totes gorge smiled at you and said he likes your new lipstick? Blush and walk away all red and flustered and then tell your favorite girlfriend all all secretively! Why not? It’s cute! And before you know it you’ll have to be planning retirement plans and working out your next mortgage. So yay to cute giggles!

phoebe son

Sometimes life kicks you in the lady bits. And sometimes you want to vent about said kicking. At this moment, it’s okay to lose your lady-like grandeur and drop an F-Bomb… or four 😀 It’s not the end of the world and I assure you, from the mouth of a near-angel, it really does make you feel a whole lot better. Sometimes we’re so frigid, and get to the point where you’re just like, okay, but why? The world is not going to change the direction of rotation, trust me.

phoebe bybe

Lastly, and what a fitting ending ha-ha. It’s okay say goodbye to something that isn’t good for you. Whether it’s a pair of shoes that is just past it’s good days, a person who continuously hurts you, a friendship that you know is toxic, or the adorable shirt you loved to bits but won’t let go of because of all the memories attached (even though you haven’t worn it in the last two seasons). Take out the things that don’t need to be there and make space in your life for what is better and what will make you happier… probably.

phoebe dance

Boo! That’s not Phoebe giving you a fright. That’s her dancing! So, dance. Even though social convention dictates dancing involves your butt doing weird things and by those standards you can’t dance- just go ahead and freaking dance anyway. You’ll probably scare some people in the process, but it’s your life so go wild flower child!

Love and cute little midi rings,

Rochelle xx

I Do Believe We’re Only Passing Through

I Do Believe We’re Only Passing Through

I’m trying to change things up a bit, so instead of starting with something out of my book of Pop Culture lyrics, I’ve gone with something more chilled and well… awesome, so thank you Ben Howard 🙂

Anyway! It’s Sunday and I’m supposed to be studying, because that’s just where I am in my life at the moment. Then I had a thought and I figured I might as well share it with the world, because we all know that an awesome thought means absolutely nothing if it’s not been followed by some sort of social media upload. Hashtag amirite????!

wink demi

I feel like I’ve spent all this time searching for awesome GIF’s that I’ve lost my train of thought! Anyways. So upon having a long discussion about life as a single twenty something, obviously Tinder found it’s way in there somewhere. When you’re in a relationship, it’s very easy to judge the decisions of the singles in your life.. When you’re on the there side, however, things change and you’re forced to have an open mind about everything. Not thirty minutes after said discussion, I decided to create an account and see what happens. Please know that I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m not looking for a fling, I’m not looking for anything. I just wanted to see what it was like. I was on for a whole of five minutes and quickly felt very intimidated. Some of the guys are really handsome. But also, it made me look at my pictures and question what I should write at the ‘about me’ section, because I want to be appealing. I have to hide my lameness, I should be cool. So I went into a bit of a panic, are the sun glasses too much, my forehead is too big, oh dear, there’s a picture of Alex. Ahhhhh!

phoebe madness

Then I went off of it and took a step back. Why am I doing this? What do I wish to accomplish? I don’t want any of the things that the guys are putting out there (haha) so why would I torment myself, even though it was five minutes, I was already trying to mould myself into a perfect little image for someone else. This completely defeats the purpose of finding yourself and learning to discover what it is that makes you happy and that makes you tick. If I go my entire life changing for person x, who is Rochelle at the end of it all?

We’ve become people who have to be perfect at everything we do. We’re not allowed to make mistakes, because God forbid, it just reiterates how imperfectly human we are. I am not a perfect person. I love singing and I can’t sing to save a life (see what I did there 😉 ). I can’t dance, but I will dance my heart out whenever I get the chance. My jokes are awful, and people laugh at me laughing at my jokes, more than the joke itself. Does that stop me from singing, dancing and telling my awfully hilarious jokes? No! Because it makes me happy. And what am I doing if I’m not happy?

So when I swiped through the profiles of the mostly average guys and read one or two… Maybe three bios, I realised that in-app dating is not really that different to in-bar/coffee shop/restaurant dating. You’re still checking the person out, getting to know the person and then deciding where it will go from there. All of this just happens behind a phone screen. You’re just able to exit a lot easier if you see it’s not going anywhere, which is kinda convenient, I suppose.

BJ Sigh

Still pretty daunting, right? So! As entertaining as it was, I don’t think I’ll be making it my main platform for well, meeting people. I’m awkward enough as it is, I think this will just make it so much more awkward. And for the record, I really enjoy being on my own. It’s something that I haven’t had the luxury of in so long and it’s so liberating. Do I get lonely, of course, do I miss being the apple of someone’s eye? Sure. But the time alone makes you very appreciative of the time you get to spend with people and it makes you treasure the people in your life so much more.

This time alone has made me realise how much I enjoy being by myself. Which is why I got all flustered about the Tinder thing. I think that for a while, I thought that because I am in no rush to get into a relationship, it made me weird or abnormal. But it doesn’t, the fact that I’m comfortable with my own company shows just how I don’t need someone. We will always want to be with someone, because two is always better than one. And there are times in one’s life that solitude and independence are what we need more. Maybe not forever, hopefully not forever, but it should be enjoyed.

taytay

There’s a lot that you learn about yourself when you’re always by yourself. If I could, I’d take a trip into the wilderness, or the mountains and just soak it all in. Away from people and social media, I would take my books and my music, because hello… Books and music. Come on bro.

One of the most amazing things I’ve learnt recently is that when you fight for what you want, you don’t settle for second best. If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, you don’t force them to be. I’ve adopted this ‘eh’  attitude (actually, I’ve always had it, it’s just become more prominent) I love people, I love people a lot. But I don’t love a lot of people, so all the love that I have for the people in my life, it’s like, a lot. And when you know the love you have for people and it’s not appreciated, or it’s just swept to the side. Lady. Please. You become selfish with your time, your love, your affection. There is always someone who needs something more, so time wasted on someone who isn’t bothered, well bro, thank you and good bye.

People come into your life for a specific purpose, and when it’s good, you’re loved and cherished and when it’s not, you’re left stronger and wiser and so much more badass. You get to a point where you’re like, yeah well, I’m over it. It doesn’t matter what you say, or what you think, I’m still singing Taylor Swift with no regrets!

Pam

Thank you Pam Beesly, for always showing me where my priorities lie 😀

Love, Vanilla Candles and Cold Toes,

Rochelle Joy xx

Summertime Sadness

Summertime Sadness

bef30636dc208569453a3203a11c889b

Haha. It’s taken me about five minutes to get this post going because it wouldn’t let me position the picture I’ve wanted to upload (hopefully it’s uploaded by the time this post is readable (hehe))

Anyway. So a while ago I posted about someone who really hurt me by saying hurtful things that weren’t true and ended up ruining our entire (albeit short) friendship. So, after a long time of not seeing him and having all my superiors have my back and ensure that he doesn’t show his face here again… He showed up here today. It was a shock at first and I laughed out loud (literally) at the discomfort of it all. Luckily he’s in a different department and isn’t allowed anywhere near my department, I have really cool superiors 😉 But this isn’t too big a company, so people are bound to run into each other. Which left me feeling the need to look over my shoulder every five minutes.

Getting back on track, I had a long, hard look at him earlier and… he looks awful. His hair is disheveled, he’s clothes are miss-matched and he’s demeanor is that of a sad and hopeless person. This then opens my heart and awakens the instinct within most girls that have the need to fix the broken douche bags of our era. Which is a step in the worst direction.

What is it about girls? Why do we feel that we have to fix the people we feel are broken? All I want to do is go up to him, tell him that I forgive him for what his done (he still hasn’t apologized btw) and that I want to start out friendship over. Will I? Probably not, because if I do, he will probably do what he did again and leave me exactly where I was all those months ago. Which is not a very happy place to be. So I though I’d take a few moments to write all this down, to the girl who feels she can fix the guy who’s hurt her over and over again. To the girl who wants to be the hero for the guy who is most definitely the villain. Bare in mind, that this guy isn’t even my boyfriend. He’s simply a once-has-been-friend. That is how much I care for the people in my life. I will do whatever I can to ensure that they feel loved and cared for. Until it gets shoved in your face and you end up under the train, again.

My heart actually hurts at the thought of this. That there are people out there, just like me who want to help people, who want people to live their best lives and excel at what they do. I think as we mature we realise the people who will be worth the trouble. The people who, when in need will be grateful when you’re there for them. For the rest who are so hurt and broken beyond repair, learn your lesson and don’t make the same mistake twice. Let life run it’s course in their lives and know your worth. If people don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, walk away. Don’t settle for second best, not even in your friendships- you deserve more than that 🙂

Love yourself enough to know that the people in your life are kept there by choice. There will always be the people who you literally cannot get rid of. But the ones you choose to have in your life is up to you 🙂 know your worth and don’t waste your precious pearls on filthy pigs.

That’s all for now.

Rochelle Joy xxx

4 Powerful Ways To Effectively Deal With Judgement – DalePartridge.com

4 Powerful Ways To Effectively Deal With Judgement – DalePartridge.com

By now most of you know how fond I am of Dale and his wife and the message of grace and encouragement they send out to the world. That and the fact that I try my utmost not to be a ‘judger of people’.

So when the link to this article came into my inbox I was more than happy to read and share it in my personal space!

It’s become very easy for people to judge anything that moves these days because the world thinks that it owes everyone it’s opinion (which it doesn’t). Don’t get me wrong, I’m in the sinking boat on this one, if I see someone walk by and is wearing something skimpy, I will cast a shadey look and make an assumption of what kind of person I think them to be. Sometimes it’s a lot more subtle than that. Sometimes it’s as simple as agreeing to when someone else says something mean and critical (without being helpful) about someone else. Because it’s easier to look on and judge another person than it is to stop and understand a bit more about them first.

I don’t know, maybe I’m too harsh on society and the way we are about things and people who aren’t quite like us. So because you wouldn’t wear that, neither should she? Or because your opinion differs to their’s so they certainly must be wrong; or you wouldn’t raise your child with those methods so… My all time favourite is “I just don’t understand why she would do that/dress that way/ believe that” Can we see a pattern forming? Which brings me to my last and final quote, it’s something I love because I used to keep it in the front of my mind all the time, until I became lazy..

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

The truth is, it takes a lot more time to get down into someone’s shoes and try to understand how and why they are the way they are. Which is why we take the easy route and judge like we’re Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. But we’re not. No one is. No one has the right to stand up on a pedestal and look down on people for whatever reason, because we are flawed and full of unpleasantness. Ah. I could go into depth on this topic, but I shan’t because I have a ton of work to do 🙂 So head on down to the link below and see for yourself 🙂

4 Powerful Ways To Effectively Deal With Judgement – DalePartridge.com.