Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

By now I’m sure you’re well aware that I’m the happy-go-lucky friend that sings and dances at the drop of a hat. So when the happy-go-lucky-friend has an off day, all the other people go ‘what is happening? why isn’t she talking? is she okay?’ and you’re forced to resume the character all your people are used to. What people don’t realize though, is that it’s perfectly normal to have an off day. Even for the person who’s happy all (or most) of the time.

kuzco happy

In all honesty, it takes a lot more effort to be happy all the time, for the sake of other people than when you’re actually happy because you’re genuinely happy. You know? I think I’ve used the word happy too many times, so many in fact that it’s now starting to sound weird. Happy. Ha ha.

Chandler Lol

I think it stems from the fact that a lot of people rely on other people to make them happy or to make them laugh or whatever, and when you’re on the other side of that relationship, it becomes hella draining. With that being said, it’s just as much the fault of the (stars haha, close but not quite) happy-makee as it is the happy-maker (I make up a lot of words). We become so very used to fulfilling the role of the happy-maker that we don’t give ourselves a single moment to be down/sad/annoyed openly to other people, lest we offend them by not being happy.

Care

But then it got me thinking… Why do I do this to myself? Why do I fake being happy for the sake of other people when all I want to do is actually just be my sad self. I’m not a sad person, not at all, I’m as jolly as a unicorn at the end of a rainbow. But I have off days as well and sometimes I want to feel all the feels of those off days. Because if I’m Lady Smilesalot all the time, who am I when I’m not smiling? Who am I? I’m a regular 25 year old who’s most probably smiling on the inside, with my face down. Or, I’m in my room crying about something that made me sad a few weeks ago until I feel better.

Superman

crying

I’m being a lot more dramatic than needs be, but it gets annoying when you’re this person. The person who listens to everyone’s sad soppy stories day in and day out and you’re like, okay, I have issues too you know, but like, whatever. And then you get to the point where I am now, where I’m kinda of bitchy and well, mean. It’s awful actually, because if you’re not that way then you get walked over and ignored because your warmheartedness gets mistaken for ‘I’m a push-over who won’t stand up for myself and talk to you about what’s bothering me’.

self five

What’s funny is that I enjoy standing up for myself. I might come across as a bit of a bitch, but rather that than be the quiet little mousy girl who has to hold in absolutely everything she thinks and feels for the sake of selfish people who want to talk about themselves all the time. I’m happier being truthful and honest about how I feel, than being ‘happy’ because someone else needs me to be. It’s so exhausting being Beyoncé. Haha, that line has no relevance in this sentence.
winning

So hahaha yes, I think this post was one big rant more than anything else, and isn’t that why we have these cute media outlets? Right!  So I’m going to end off like I usually do, by saying that you should go ahead and be awesome, be yourself, love yourself, cherish the things that make you unique and speak your mind. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and be happy when you’re happy and whatever else, when you’re not.

Love and my unrelenting desire to get another tattoo,

Rochelle xx

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Thirty Minus Five Years Old

Thirty Minus Five Years Old

Whoohoo! Birthdays are the very best aren’t they? Well, they are, when you’re four years old, and you have a party the next day with all the cool kids you’ve invited and you know there’ll be cake and presents and party packs! Oh how fun birthdays were when we were younger.

Birthday Tangled

Well, those were simpler times. Now though, we have expectations and often times those expectations are not met. Also, now the thought of growing a year older isn’t as appealing as it was when we were younger. Because now, with age comes a whole lot of extra things that we don’t really want, but they’ll come anyway because well, they’re just like that.

So this year, I’m turning twenty five, whoop! And I’m not that petrified. Yes, I can no longer sing ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m turning twenty two’ and quite frankly, I couldn’t sing that song for the past two years, so I think I’ll manage haha. Because as wonderful as it was to have birthday parties at four years old, and even at twenty two, it’s so much better, in a whole new, exhilaratingly terrifying way when you get older.

Birthday Party

There’s something exciting about figuring out your life in your twenties, learning how to budget properly, saving religiously every month and making the tough choice between that adorable polka dot skirt, a Ken Follet book you haven’t read (I can’t believe there are so many) and then well, having food for the rest of the month. And let’s not even mention the love life situation. But with the stress of everyday life, comes a freedom that you smily do not have at four years old. You decide what it is you’re going to do about the condition of your life. After all, it’s just circumstantial, right? Most of the time, you think about your life and go hey, I’m here, this sucks, let’s order some cocktails shall we?!

Birthday Dean

Because at the end of the day, we will look back to these days and count them as the ‘simpler times’ and I don’t want to look back in regret and think that I should’ve enjoyed it more. I don’t want to think that I’ve wasted my twenties being a stick in the mud and not actually playing in the mud. I feel like I say this often, but it’s so important to enjoy where we are at the point we’re at in our lives. Yes, things could be better, but they could also be a hell of a lot worse. So even though I’m not over the moon excited for my birthday tomorrow, it is a big day (yay quarter century!) and I will sum up the courage to be excited about it.

Birthday Lily

We’re so used to having everything together, and when they’re not held together, we start to panic. But this is what life does though, the minute you think you’ve got it figured out, it comes and pulls the rug out from beneath your feet. And when you’re lying there, with your head on the ground and a pain in your butt , take a moment to appreciate what you have in your life. The people who stand beside you and support you and the fact that you’re better off than 70% of the world, is a pretty good thing to be thankful for 🙂

So yay to unconventional birthdays!

Love and The Anticipation of Calorie Free Birthday Cake,

Rochelle xx

Your Love Is Like A Giant Pigeon

Your Love Is Like A Giant Pigeon

Whoop! It’s Friday in this cold part of South Africa and what better way to spend it than to write posts about absolutely anything because, yay! So today I thought I’d round up a few of my favourite Phoebe Buffay (I had to Google the spelling he-he) quotes and kinda just throw them out there.

So here goes, a few things I’ve learnt from Phoebe Buffay.

phoebe pigeon

Firstly, Phoebe has taught me that love isn’t always as peachy and candle lit themed as one is made to believe it is. More often than not, love is messy and it hurts and it gets thrown in your face. Sometimes it’s not reciprocated and that can break you, or you can have it strengthen you and make you more ready for the next time. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing music and your lyrics don’t rhyme… At all. That’s okay.

phoebe drink

Secondly, she taught me that It’s so easy to become comfortable with the way that you’re used to living your life and you get to a point where you’re too scared to venture beyond the fences you’ve built up around yourself. (Taking into consideration the fact that she lived out of a box for most of her childhood.) Not knowing that in so doing, all you’re accomplishing is limiting yourself to new relationships, new experiences and discovering new things about yourself that are actually quote delightful. So have that extra glass of wine if you so please, do it for the kids 😉

phoebe no

We don’t always have to do the things that people want us to do, when we don’t want to do it. People are so used to doing what everyone else is doing, mostly due to #fomo and also, we just want to be a part of everything. You know, there might be a really cool photo opportunity to post onto Instagram. You never know! So it’s okay to say no once in a while, it’s okay to decline an invitation if you’d much rather cuddle up with your favourite book, or just to spend time with very awesome self.

phoebe giggle

It’s okay to get shy and giggle about silly things once in a while. This is a bit of an every day occurrence for me, either way, it’s great! We can take things so seriously sometimes that we genuinely suck the fun out of what might actually be a really sweet moment. That guys you think is totes gorge smiled at you and said he likes your new lipstick? Blush and walk away all red and flustered and then tell your favorite girlfriend all all secretively! Why not? It’s cute! And before you know it you’ll have to be planning retirement plans and working out your next mortgage. So yay to cute giggles!

phoebe son

Sometimes life kicks you in the lady bits. And sometimes you want to vent about said kicking. At this moment, it’s okay to lose your lady-like grandeur and drop an F-Bomb… or four 😀 It’s not the end of the world and I assure you, from the mouth of a near-angel, it really does make you feel a whole lot better. Sometimes we’re so frigid, and get to the point where you’re just like, okay, but why? The world is not going to change the direction of rotation, trust me.

phoebe bybe

Lastly, and what a fitting ending ha-ha. It’s okay say goodbye to something that isn’t good for you. Whether it’s a pair of shoes that is just past it’s good days, a person who continuously hurts you, a friendship that you know is toxic, or the adorable shirt you loved to bits but won’t let go of because of all the memories attached (even though you haven’t worn it in the last two seasons). Take out the things that don’t need to be there and make space in your life for what is better and what will make you happier… probably.

phoebe dance

Boo! That’s not Phoebe giving you a fright. That’s her dancing! So, dance. Even though social convention dictates dancing involves your butt doing weird things and by those standards you can’t dance- just go ahead and freaking dance anyway. You’ll probably scare some people in the process, but it’s your life so go wild flower child!

Love and cute little midi rings,

Rochelle xx

Cherry Lips & Crystal Skies

Cherry Lips & Crystal Skies

Crystal Skies

To the dismay of many around me, I’ve fallen in love with Tay Swizzle’s latest album. I’m not the biggest fan of pop music, one or two cool hits on the radio and I’m like ‘Yay! This is great, let’s move on’. But this album has got me singing it at work, on the bus, at the gym… It’s just the best.

I’ve received lots of flack for my current obsession, with people saying many mean things about this person who has written many amazing titles and who is doing really well for herself. What it has taught me though, was that I can love who ever the hell I want to love. I can have this huge, obsession with Taylor and not care if it irks even the best of people around me, because it’s not for them, it’s for me. I was going through a bit of a rough patch when I started listening to the album, and yes… It speaks about break-ups… a lot. But it’s so catchy and well-written and the instrumentation astounds me because when you listen to the one-hit-wonders, you don’t pay attention to the cowbell sequence in the bridge because, why would you? Listening to the album made me excited about life and being in my mid twenties (25 is slowly approaching) and it made me question the things in my life that I’m not happy with.

This is a lot to take away from a 59 minute album, but it’s the best 59 minutes and I know it will leave me in the best mood for days to follow. I say this all the time, but guys, life is too short to be putting up with crap.

i cant

It was Father’s Day on Sunday and a dear friend of mine, who passed away last year, would’ve celebrated his first Father’s Day, but didn’t because well, you can’t celebrate Father’s Day if you’re not alive. And it got me thinking, what are we doing if we’re not enjoying what we’re doing? Yes yes, I know, that got way too real way too soon… But I uh, yeah… I haven’t posted in a while so yay!

Maybe it’s the quarter life crisis approaching? Or it’s just me facing the harsh reality that you set the standard for what you want in your life. You set the standard for the way you want people to treat you. Trust me, this can be a bit tougher than what you’d like, but it is. Remember the friend who broke my heart? Well. I’ve decided to put it all behind me and give him another chance. Boy did that open up a can of sour worms! So now, I’m playing the balancing act of choosing to be a decent human being and not allow people’s insecurities and damagedness (that’s not a real word) to enter my life, because I just want to save everybody. And let me tell you, those who are damaged, will always be damaged. We’re all damaged and if we keep people out solely based on their damagedness (again, not a real word. Although, damageableness is a word… but it’s not applicable to my sentence. It could be… but no.), no one would be friends with anybody, ever.

To an extent I think we’ve become experts at hiding our damagedness (this should seriously be a word), because you know, “Darling I’m A Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream”. We’ve become so used to putting our best feet forward all day everyday. Hiding the bags under our eyes, covering up the nagging spot that showed up out of nowhere, straightening our beautiful natural curls because you know, straight hair don’t care. Well, I actually do care.

daydream

I care that the way I feel about myself, my body and my beauty routine shouldn’t be determined by what someone else things is beautiful or ‘on point’. Because if it’s not ‘on point’ to me, then who the hell gives a flying fcuk?

So. Here is is. Be happy, Be you, Be free. Don’t allow people, even with the best of intentions to dictate what you should/ shouldn’t be doing with your life. Be the person you want to be and don’t allow someone else’s standards of beauty, family, career or love be applied to your life because they are not the ones who have to deal with the consequences, you are.

So go forth and be your lovely,wonderfully amazing self 🙂

PEW PEW

Love and banana bran muffins,

Rochelle Joy xx

Summertime Sadness

Summertime Sadness

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Haha. It’s taken me about five minutes to get this post going because it wouldn’t let me position the picture I’ve wanted to upload (hopefully it’s uploaded by the time this post is readable (hehe))

Anyway. So a while ago I posted about someone who really hurt me by saying hurtful things that weren’t true and ended up ruining our entire (albeit short) friendship. So, after a long time of not seeing him and having all my superiors have my back and ensure that he doesn’t show his face here again… He showed up here today. It was a shock at first and I laughed out loud (literally) at the discomfort of it all. Luckily he’s in a different department and isn’t allowed anywhere near my department, I have really cool superiors 😉 But this isn’t too big a company, so people are bound to run into each other. Which left me feeling the need to look over my shoulder every five minutes.

Getting back on track, I had a long, hard look at him earlier and… he looks awful. His hair is disheveled, he’s clothes are miss-matched and he’s demeanor is that of a sad and hopeless person. This then opens my heart and awakens the instinct within most girls that have the need to fix the broken douche bags of our era. Which is a step in the worst direction.

What is it about girls? Why do we feel that we have to fix the people we feel are broken? All I want to do is go up to him, tell him that I forgive him for what his done (he still hasn’t apologized btw) and that I want to start out friendship over. Will I? Probably not, because if I do, he will probably do what he did again and leave me exactly where I was all those months ago. Which is not a very happy place to be. So I though I’d take a few moments to write all this down, to the girl who feels she can fix the guy who’s hurt her over and over again. To the girl who wants to be the hero for the guy who is most definitely the villain. Bare in mind, that this guy isn’t even my boyfriend. He’s simply a once-has-been-friend. That is how much I care for the people in my life. I will do whatever I can to ensure that they feel loved and cared for. Until it gets shoved in your face and you end up under the train, again.

My heart actually hurts at the thought of this. That there are people out there, just like me who want to help people, who want people to live their best lives and excel at what they do. I think as we mature we realise the people who will be worth the trouble. The people who, when in need will be grateful when you’re there for them. For the rest who are so hurt and broken beyond repair, learn your lesson and don’t make the same mistake twice. Let life run it’s course in their lives and know your worth. If people don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, walk away. Don’t settle for second best, not even in your friendships- you deserve more than that 🙂

Love yourself enough to know that the people in your life are kept there by choice. There will always be the people who you literally cannot get rid of. But the ones you choose to have in your life is up to you 🙂 know your worth and don’t waste your precious pearls on filthy pigs.

That’s all for now.

Rochelle Joy xxx

Bold is the New Black

Bold is the New Black

Be Brave

It’s Thursday! One of my all time favourite days in the week because it’s one day closer to the next day which brings us all one day closer to Christmas 🙂 Seriously, I’m not one to live for the weekend, but I do love me a good ol’ Thursday.

Anyway. Update on life and such,  I’ve been promoted! Yay! After my three month probation period I have been moved from reception to rentals (just one bar below management, which is part of the long term plan). So although it’s a lot more stress and longer hours, it is a lot more rewarding. It’s funny, because I was pretty bummed about being a receptionist… I was so bored and felt so under-valued. Before I knew it, I was moved to the rentals office to help out with the workload and then, bam! In the rentals office permanently! So yay. This is really great. Who knows, I might even be moving into my own place by sometime in next year 😉

Anyway, life is good at the moment and I want to make a note thereof. I also want to note the fact that life isn’t always a suck-fest. And yes, it is a suck-fest  a lot of the time, but there are moments which make the rest of it all come together 🙂 Haha, this is sounding like a lame tribute to ‘sticking out the hard times’ but it’s not!

I had a moment on the way home yesterday, when I thought briefly, about my childhood. It had it’s tough, wearing flip-flops in winter moments… and moments where I would wear hand me downs and try to wear it confidently, like someone stylish. I thought about the fact that if 10 year old me saw 24 year old me, 10 year old me would say ‘I want to be like that one day’. And that thought makes me smile. It makes me smile that I’m doing something with my life. It makes me smile that regardless of all that life has thrown in my face, I can walk about with my head high and be confident about where I am now.

I still have a long way to go, i.e. owning my own vehicle and living in my own apartment (which is soon on it’s way mind you) and then, of course we have the wanderlust I have boiling inside my bones every single day. So although I have a lot more I want to accomplish in my life, I’m well on my way to get there 🙂

It’s taken me a while to realize that it’s not the things you have in your life that matter in order to make you happy though. If you are driving the fastest car, or you have the most elaborate wardrobe, or even if you’ve traveled t o every continent. If you’re not happy despite all those things, neither of it actually matters. Yes, you can talk up a storm at a dinner party and your contribution to the ‘meeting the relatives of your other half’ will be a lot more interesting, but who are you underneath all those things? If you’re relying on those things to make up for a shitty personality then… Shame. And if you’ve accomplished all those things and have a stellar personality, then high fives all round to you friend!

It’s great to have a list of things being ticked off your list, but it matters nothing if those are the things you are counting on to fulfill you as a person. It sounds silly, but it happens. *Extreme vulnerability ahead* I often find myself feeling less worthy of someone’s attention or time when I think about the things I haven’t yet done in my life, like my lack of travels or my lack of a driver’s license. So I often measure myself to those things. Which, if you think about it logically, is rather stupid. I remember as a child, when I got my first cellphone, thinking that when I have one with games, I will be so much cooler… Then, when I had one with a colour screen… Then, when I had a flip phone… Then… then… then… Now, years later, I’m still doing that. I’m still waiting for my next  ‘when I have, I will be’. The truth is that I need to be first. I need to be confident where I am, with what I have before the rest of it all comes along.

It sucks the joy out f where you are currently if you’re constantly looking down on yourself and waiting for the next phase. Instead, enjoy the phase of your life that you’re in currently. It will make that phase flow a whole lot smoother 🙂

I think that’s all from me for now. Until next month! Haha

Love and jelly sprinkles,

Rochelle xx

Because Sometimes We Just Need To Dance It Out

Because Sometimes We Just Need To Dance It Out

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Whoohoo! Thursday, my apparent favourite day of the week, except when you’re forced to leave gym early and then rush to catch a bus to work and end up sitting next to the noisiest group of people on the entire planet. Oh, and did I mention that I’ve become a bit dramatic over the last little while?

Figures. Quick recap, my previous place of employment was going through some troubles, so they ended up telling us all to find new jobs! What a blast. That was happening at the same point that I started my end of semester exams and to top it all off… A beloved friend died, without warning one Sunday morning. So yes. It’s been a crappy while. That was last year! This year, though I managed to take my first holiday in TWO YEARS, passed my learner’s test and started at a new job 🙂 I’ve made some (two actually) really good friends and so far, so good.

Today though, is a bit of a suck fest. It just didn’t start out well. And all I want to do it get onto a spinning bike and cycle until my heart rate monitor tells me I’m about to have a heart attack… Okay, maybe not really… But still. Anyway, it’s just one of those days 🙂 When you’re so busy and all the people in your life are busy as well, one tends to become lonely. Even though I’m surrounded by people all the time (which gets on my nerves almost 90% of the time, thanks to the introvert in me) it’s still very easy to kind of become lost in it all. I’ve become so used to listening to people and their things that it’s as if I’ve almost lost track of my own things.

This gets dangerous when you’re not getting the attention you need from the people you need the attention from. Oh, I’ve never looked into star signs and all that, but I’ve been told that I have the qualities of a Leo… Which I am, #obvs and with that comes the need/love for/of attention. Up until this point in my life I’ve never been able to relate to that… Until one of my two friends (at work haha) told me that the need for attention doesn’t always mean ‘all eyes on you in a large crowded room’ and that it could very easily mean the undivided attention from the person you’re talking to or a person whom you love. So. When this needed attention doesn’t come from the person you need it from… You start finding other people to give it to you. We’re selfish beings, and it’s so easy to slip into  bad habits and do things that will be regretted later.

Which is why I’ve decided that during this time of loneliness, I will focus on things other than myself (like writing a post about how I feel.. haha) and actually just getting shit done. It’s a lot easier said than done, because well… We want to feel that we matter… That if we’re absent from a place that our presence will be missed and that there is someone out there that is willing to sit and listen to us moan about shopping lists and assignments and stupid people in your space.

And then there are times when you can’t ignore things and you just blast your favourite song on your iPod and dance it the hell out. So what if you’re not as curvy as the girl Meghan Trainor is referring to, you love the song? You freaking enjoy singing about “All the right junk in all the right places”

Life is so freaking short, there is no reason we should live it sulking around about itsy bitsy crap that really won’t mean a thing in a few months. And when all else fails… Just do something that will make you smile and  inflate your heart, because at the end of that day, that’s what it comes down to. Life is filled with so much meh and bleh and we’ve become so used to it. Well. Bleh. Why not smile and run and jump and dance in the midst of all the bleh?!

Disclaimer: I am not running and jumping, although I am sitting at my desk listening to one of my favourite albums without my shoes, cos I’m cool like that 😉 xx

Smiles inside my heart,

Rochelle xx
Read more: Meghan Trainor – All About That Bass Lyrics | MetroLyrics