Love’s a Game, Wanna Play?

Love’s a Game, Wanna Play?

Yes, more Taylor Swift lyrics. Don’t judge me, too harshly. On a more serious note, today marks the first month of my singleness and I have to say (well, I don’t have to, but I can, so I will… anyway) it’s actually a lot more tough than I thought it would be. Breaking up something that has been a part of your life for almost 20% of your life so far, hurts, a lot.

SHOCK

But I’ve recently learnt that I need to be a bit more patient with myself and I need to become a lot less controlling. So! Instead of wallowing in self pity, I have to pick myself up out this pit I am clearly falling into. It’s a decision I’ve made and now I have to take the steps required to move forward and it’s so hard! But it’s for the best and I’m excited, kinda!

Phoebe cool

I’ve decided to take this time and rediscover the things about myself that I need to work on, improve and maybe do away with. I’ve started by doing whatever the hell I want to do with my hair, which is so great because I can leave it curly and be all wild and untamed 😀 It’s daunting, because my hair is a big part of who I am (as it true for most girls) so I feel like I’m making myself vulnerable… Which is probably a  less dramatic thing than what I’m making it out to be. Still. But you know what I mean, I hope! It’s a new journey of self-discovery and renewal and all of the philosophical things that people say you’re about to experience. Most importantly for me, it’s learning to be on my own. It’s learning to stand on my own two feet and not behind someone else’s shadow. It’s being a little selfish with my time and my love (that won’t last long) and most importantly, it’s about finding my Joy again.

chandler dancing

I’m goofy and ridiculous and I sing off-key whenever I have the chance, and I’ve lost that, for the longest time. So I’m on my way to finding that again! It’s terrifying and exciting at the same time, which is life, basically haha. Don’t get me wrong, I have random crying outbursts when the slightest thing reminds me of things that made me think of him. I need to realise that all of this isn’t going to go away over night. It still sucks though.

But just because it sucks now, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to suck forever. Just because I’m alone now (which I am really beginning to enjoy). doesn’t mean that I’ll be alone for the rest of my days. And, just because it hurts like a mother trucker now, doesn’t mean that it will hurt forever. At this point, everything just feels all sucky and whatever.

night cheese

For now, this is my life right now and I’m really not too phased because you know, I’m young and stuff. So don’t judge me for relishing in pasta, ice-cream, oodles of chocolate, pilates and my UNISA modules like there’s no tomorrow. Liz Lemon up in here 😀 The rest will just have to fall into place.

phoebe babies

Love and cute grey nails,

Rochelle Joy xx

I think I Have a Problem

I think I Have a Problem

Hello inter webs! I’m making it my goal to post more often, because it makes my heart smile and all of the rest of it. books deez Today’s post is about the problem I think I have. It’s not so much a problem as it is an addiction… Guys, I think I’m addicted to buying books. I’ve never been the type of child to buy my own books, mostly because we didn’t have much growing up, most of the books I read, I took out at the local library. Either way, it was something that I always enjoyed. So now, many many years later, I’m earning a stable income and am not at liberty to take out books from my local library, because I will not have the courage to let them go afterward. Because if I read you, you can’t leave me, you’re mine, forever.BOOKS MINEAnd here we are, writing a post about my love for books and my relentless obsession with buying books faster than I can read them, which causes me the type of beautiful pain that I cannot live without. I don’t know what it is, okay, maybe I do. I love my books so much because it takes me out of the world that I’m in and sets me down in this complete other world. A world where your problems don’t matter. A world where you don’t have to get up at 5:30am to exercise, where you don’t have to worry about your relationship issues, where you don’t have to stress about the fact that your study break is almost over and you still haven’t booked a date for your drivers test. In these other worlds there are other issues, like your family is starving and you’re a stone mason who can’t find a job in the middle of winter. Or you’ve just found out that your husband was married to you because he was a spy and your entire marriage was a sham. Or you have cancer and will inevitably die. books sleep All of which are painful experiences and it wakes you up to the realities that the trivial things we go through really are not worth the amount of time we waste fretting about them. This is why buying books makes me heart expand! I become like the proverbial kid in the candy store. It’s like freaking Christmas morning. It’s one of the things that bring me the most joy at the end of a long day. books ecxitedIt’s my escape from the trials and shittiness of life and the world in general. It’s gotten to the point now though where I would much rather stay in and read over going out into the world. I’ve felt this way for the longest time, but now it’s so much more precedent, it’s actually a bit ridiculous. It’s also a really great way for you to solve your own problems. You have the advice of characters who are going through things so much worse than you, albeit fictional. So don’t take offence if you’re one of those ‘I don’t have the time to read’ people and I feel the need to banish you from my life forever. I just feel that those people are robbing themselves of the greatest joy that life has to offer. Maybe it’s just me (although I highly doubt that), but I love it, and I always will. I will never tire of reading and I will do it until I’m old and grey and surrounded by my lovely feline friends. So when I get to know people and they tell me they don’t read, or they’ll rather watch a movie or a series (which I do too, by the way) I’m just like, really?   giphy I think reading also opens your eyes up to all the things that are good in our life. It helps you be appreciative of the things you have that you might take for granted. It can be the fact that you don’t have a mother dying of cancer or the fact that you’re not living through World War II. You know, simple. This was supposed to be an uplifting post dammit! Sorry, I can’t be objective about this because, who could? People would have such better outlooks on the world if they just put down their mobile devices, closed their laptop screens and picked up some neatly bonded ink on paper. That feeling of being inside the book and not wanting to leave, not wanting to eat or sleep because you don’t want to miss a single moment. It’s like, no, don’t let me out, ever! book inside

So there you have it. I’m not as different as I thought I was. Because I’ve read enough articles like this to know that there are many bookworms in the world, hiding from reality in the comfort of their enclosed spaces with a tragically beautiful book in hand. Read on people, read on 🙂 For the rest of the world, well, you know what to do 😉

Books 1

Love and the obvious smell of old books,

Rochelle Joy xx

AFDA Experimental Festival: Review

AFDA Experimental Festival: Review

I’ve been roped in to handle some of the Media Marketing at my place of employment and because this is my blog and I can post about all sorts of cool things, I thought I might as well share my experience here too 🙂

afda

My first experience at the AFDA festival was entertaining to say the least. It was held at the AFDA Cape Town campus in Observatory and the venue could not have been more perfect. The students put their best feet forward and there were a few performances that blew my brain balls!

I attended the screenings on Saturday, the second day of the festival and as soon as I got there I could feel the excitement that had been growing after weeks of hard work and sleepless nights. There was pumping music with trendy little dance floor, good food, Oreo cupcakes and even a fresh produce juicer stand (because you know, go organic or go home).

A few of the students had booths set up, depicting the main features of each project. Many booths had something you could take away with you, most notably: What if They Were Wrong, had a container filled with Chomp chocolates and Fizzers, Voiceless had a chocolate fountain in which you could dip marshmallows, pieces of pineapple and Wilson Blocks (the toffee of our childhood) and Beef had a huge chalk board wall aptly titled ‘What’s Your Beef’, on which you were able to write things that rubbed you the wrong way. Among many were phrases like ‘load shedding, hipsters, schedules, mean people and People who ruin Game of Thrones.’ These were so much fun, because they made you expectant for the actual film, which I think was the point.

Oh My Gosh

Out of all the screenings, I would have to say that my favourite, based on aesthetics, storyline and style were Voiceless (AFDA CPT), What if They Were Wrong (AFDA CPT) and How to Kill a Girl Named Amanda (AFDA JHB)

With it being an Experimental Festival, many of the films left you laughing hysterically at the hilarity of the writing. Many opened your eyes to the injustice in the word and made you marvel at the wisdom of these young minds. Some even left you with a longing for the film to continue. I was highly impressed with the superb quality of the films, when many of them had very little to work with.

After seeing the amount of talent in these films, I’m excited for what our budding film industry has in its wake.

cool

Love and a kiddies popcorn,

Rochelle Joy xx

Cherry Lips & Crystal Skies

Cherry Lips & Crystal Skies

Crystal Skies

To the dismay of many around me, I’ve fallen in love with Tay Swizzle’s latest album. I’m not the biggest fan of pop music, one or two cool hits on the radio and I’m like ‘Yay! This is great, let’s move on’. But this album has got me singing it at work, on the bus, at the gym… It’s just the best.

I’ve received lots of flack for my current obsession, with people saying many mean things about this person who has written many amazing titles and who is doing really well for herself. What it has taught me though, was that I can love who ever the hell I want to love. I can have this huge, obsession with Taylor and not care if it irks even the best of people around me, because it’s not for them, it’s for me. I was going through a bit of a rough patch when I started listening to the album, and yes… It speaks about break-ups… a lot. But it’s so catchy and well-written and the instrumentation astounds me because when you listen to the one-hit-wonders, you don’t pay attention to the cowbell sequence in the bridge because, why would you? Listening to the album made me excited about life and being in my mid twenties (25 is slowly approaching) and it made me question the things in my life that I’m not happy with.

This is a lot to take away from a 59 minute album, but it’s the best 59 minutes and I know it will leave me in the best mood for days to follow. I say this all the time, but guys, life is too short to be putting up with crap.

i cant

It was Father’s Day on Sunday and a dear friend of mine, who passed away last year, would’ve celebrated his first Father’s Day, but didn’t because well, you can’t celebrate Father’s Day if you’re not alive. And it got me thinking, what are we doing if we’re not enjoying what we’re doing? Yes yes, I know, that got way too real way too soon… But I uh, yeah… I haven’t posted in a while so yay!

Maybe it’s the quarter life crisis approaching? Or it’s just me facing the harsh reality that you set the standard for what you want in your life. You set the standard for the way you want people to treat you. Trust me, this can be a bit tougher than what you’d like, but it is. Remember the friend who broke my heart? Well. I’ve decided to put it all behind me and give him another chance. Boy did that open up a can of sour worms! So now, I’m playing the balancing act of choosing to be a decent human being and not allow people’s insecurities and damagedness (that’s not a real word) to enter my life, because I just want to save everybody. And let me tell you, those who are damaged, will always be damaged. We’re all damaged and if we keep people out solely based on their damagedness (again, not a real word. Although, damageableness is a word… but it’s not applicable to my sentence. It could be… but no.), no one would be friends with anybody, ever.

To an extent I think we’ve become experts at hiding our damagedness (this should seriously be a word), because you know, “Darling I’m A Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream”. We’ve become so used to putting our best feet forward all day everyday. Hiding the bags under our eyes, covering up the nagging spot that showed up out of nowhere, straightening our beautiful natural curls because you know, straight hair don’t care. Well, I actually do care.

daydream

I care that the way I feel about myself, my body and my beauty routine shouldn’t be determined by what someone else things is beautiful or ‘on point’. Because if it’s not ‘on point’ to me, then who the hell gives a flying fcuk?

So. Here is is. Be happy, Be you, Be free. Don’t allow people, even with the best of intentions to dictate what you should/ shouldn’t be doing with your life. Be the person you want to be and don’t allow someone else’s standards of beauty, family, career or love be applied to your life because they are not the ones who have to deal with the consequences, you are.

So go forth and be your lovely,wonderfully amazing self 🙂

PEW PEW

Love and banana bran muffins,

Rochelle Joy xx

Lost in The City of Angels

Lost in The City of Angels

 
Whoohoo! A post not done behind a desk or from a crappy PC 😊 it’s just me, posting on a Saturday morning in my boyfriend’s lounge, from my phone while procrastinating and watching the rugby (not willingly)

I’ve realized that I haven’t really posted about anything happy or actually funny, which is weird because I find myself to be a damn hoot! I’m constantly posting about how to be happy and about how to get through things with a positive attitude but I never actually got through those crappy things and then got back to my happy self! I’ve allowed things to get me down and I’ve neglected myself so much that I’m now all snotty and stressed about my semester is exams, it’s not even funny 😓

So! Enough is enough! No more self-pity and a little more Wonder Woman 💃🏽 too long have I sat idley by and drifted through this year. Well, no more.  Seriously, we need to start getting things done and NOT pretending to be strong when we’re not. I think that’s one of my biggest downfalls, I don’t accept defeat. No one ever should, but I we should accept when we need to allow someone else to take over the reigns for a while and allow ourselves a chance to recover. I have delegating because I want to do everything absolutely amazingly and I don’t always trust that people will be able to do it the way I want them to (yes, I will probably be a horrible bride one day 👰🏽🐉). This then leaves me in the horrible place of not letting people do things for me, because I have to do everything myself. Well little Rochelle, get over yourself, you’re not perfect.

There is so much beauty around us, I don’t only say this because I live in one of the worlds most beautiful cities 🇿🇦 I say this because it’s true. People are kind and generous and loving and people care; skies change from navy blue to pink to Amber to almost any colour imaginable (except green because, euw) every single day; clouds change shapes and shop keepers smile because you’ve remembered their names. These things are evident and still we’re  so caught up in our petty little lives that we don’t stop to enjoy what is right in front of us ❤️

Skip a day at the gym and sleep in, put down your psychology textbook and read your John Green that’s gathering dust, forgo the leather boots and buy the new Ken Follett (maybe his one is just for me hehe) but you get my point. Don’t be so stiff with your life, it’s only so short. I’m 24 and I feel like I’ve wasted so much of my life being anxious and worrying about things that were the biggest waste of time 😂 no more!

Here’s to doing my best and not being so hard on myself 🎉 please note that this is not a license to be lazy, this is a reminder to enjoy my life, to read and write and enjoy life more because what are we doing with our lives if we’re not enjoying it???

Love and tuna salad,

Rochelle Joy xxox 

Summertime Sadness

Summertime Sadness

bef30636dc208569453a3203a11c889b

Haha. It’s taken me about five minutes to get this post going because it wouldn’t let me position the picture I’ve wanted to upload (hopefully it’s uploaded by the time this post is readable (hehe))

Anyway. So a while ago I posted about someone who really hurt me by saying hurtful things that weren’t true and ended up ruining our entire (albeit short) friendship. So, after a long time of not seeing him and having all my superiors have my back and ensure that he doesn’t show his face here again… He showed up here today. It was a shock at first and I laughed out loud (literally) at the discomfort of it all. Luckily he’s in a different department and isn’t allowed anywhere near my department, I have really cool superiors 😉 But this isn’t too big a company, so people are bound to run into each other. Which left me feeling the need to look over my shoulder every five minutes.

Getting back on track, I had a long, hard look at him earlier and… he looks awful. His hair is disheveled, he’s clothes are miss-matched and he’s demeanor is that of a sad and hopeless person. This then opens my heart and awakens the instinct within most girls that have the need to fix the broken douche bags of our era. Which is a step in the worst direction.

What is it about girls? Why do we feel that we have to fix the people we feel are broken? All I want to do is go up to him, tell him that I forgive him for what his done (he still hasn’t apologized btw) and that I want to start out friendship over. Will I? Probably not, because if I do, he will probably do what he did again and leave me exactly where I was all those months ago. Which is not a very happy place to be. So I though I’d take a few moments to write all this down, to the girl who feels she can fix the guy who’s hurt her over and over again. To the girl who wants to be the hero for the guy who is most definitely the villain. Bare in mind, that this guy isn’t even my boyfriend. He’s simply a once-has-been-friend. That is how much I care for the people in my life. I will do whatever I can to ensure that they feel loved and cared for. Until it gets shoved in your face and you end up under the train, again.

My heart actually hurts at the thought of this. That there are people out there, just like me who want to help people, who want people to live their best lives and excel at what they do. I think as we mature we realise the people who will be worth the trouble. The people who, when in need will be grateful when you’re there for them. For the rest who are so hurt and broken beyond repair, learn your lesson and don’t make the same mistake twice. Let life run it’s course in their lives and know your worth. If people don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, walk away. Don’t settle for second best, not even in your friendships- you deserve more than that 🙂

Love yourself enough to know that the people in your life are kept there by choice. There will always be the people who you literally cannot get rid of. But the ones you choose to have in your life is up to you 🙂 know your worth and don’t waste your precious pearls on filthy pigs.

That’s all for now.

Rochelle Joy xxx

4 Powerful Ways To Effectively Deal With Judgement – DalePartridge.com

4 Powerful Ways To Effectively Deal With Judgement – DalePartridge.com

By now most of you know how fond I am of Dale and his wife and the message of grace and encouragement they send out to the world. That and the fact that I try my utmost not to be a ‘judger of people’.

So when the link to this article came into my inbox I was more than happy to read and share it in my personal space!

It’s become very easy for people to judge anything that moves these days because the world thinks that it owes everyone it’s opinion (which it doesn’t). Don’t get me wrong, I’m in the sinking boat on this one, if I see someone walk by and is wearing something skimpy, I will cast a shadey look and make an assumption of what kind of person I think them to be. Sometimes it’s a lot more subtle than that. Sometimes it’s as simple as agreeing to when someone else says something mean and critical (without being helpful) about someone else. Because it’s easier to look on and judge another person than it is to stop and understand a bit more about them first.

I don’t know, maybe I’m too harsh on society and the way we are about things and people who aren’t quite like us. So because you wouldn’t wear that, neither should she? Or because your opinion differs to their’s so they certainly must be wrong; or you wouldn’t raise your child with those methods so… My all time favourite is “I just don’t understand why she would do that/dress that way/ believe that” Can we see a pattern forming? Which brings me to my last and final quote, it’s something I love because I used to keep it in the front of my mind all the time, until I became lazy..

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

The truth is, it takes a lot more time to get down into someone’s shoes and try to understand how and why they are the way they are. Which is why we take the easy route and judge like we’re Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. But we’re not. No one is. No one has the right to stand up on a pedestal and look down on people for whatever reason, because we are flawed and full of unpleasantness. Ah. I could go into depth on this topic, but I shan’t because I have a ton of work to do 🙂 So head on down to the link below and see for yourself 🙂

4 Powerful Ways To Effectively Deal With Judgement – DalePartridge.com.