So This One Time, I Read This Thing

So This One Time, I Read This Thing

I saw this tweet one day and it was by a guy who said he sometimes sees people’s blogs start off with “OMG it’s been a while! Sorry I’ve been so quiet.” and he’s reaction to it was something along the lines of “No one even noticed you were gone, so it hasn’t really been that long” or something. I can’t properly recall.. It was a long time ago, and I just remember laughing my face off because of how funny it was at the time.

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So here I am, with some time on my hands and a heart full of love and joy and anger and stress and frustration… Yes, it’s that time of the semester, where I’m up every morning at 5am to either study or get in a killer workout. It’s then followed by a 10 hour work day, which is followed by dinner, maybe an episode of New Girl and then some more studying.

This will be my life for the next three weeks, and then I have a little break… Until I start to relax and then bam! It starts all over again 🙂

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I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I’m trying my very best not to dwell on the things I don’t like about where I am in my life? If something is annoying, or bothering or upsetting me, I ask myself why the thing is having such a negative effect on my life and if I could do absolutely anything to change it, what that action would be. If it’s something I can do, I do it… If not, I kinda try my best to work through it. It’s not always easy… But I’m past the point where I’m going to sit and bitch about whatever is a pain in my ass at that moment.

Doooon’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean I’m a ray of sunshine every moment of everyday. Just yesterday, a few co-workers were teasing me incessantly to the point that I nearly burst out crying. So I just smiled, put in my earphones and blasted some Biffy Clyro until they felt like idiots standing there, waiting for a reaction (fun fact, they didn’t get one) . I’m pretty sure I had a point to all this..

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Anyway! So yes, life is annoying and you kinda want to punch people in the face most days. But other days your friends make you smile by telling you that they found a subreddit section all about turtles and thought of you. Or the fact that your sister wants a movie soundtrack, that she could get from a student friend, but she misses you, so wants you to get it from you. Or the fact that you’re healthy and fashionable and finally seeing your Pinterest Wardrobe in your actual IRL Wardrobe.

I’m constantly reminded that it’s the little things that make life so special. And no, by little things I don’t mean Hobbits (although, they are pretty great 😛 )

I’m pretty sure that’s all I have to say for now, until I’m stressed out of my mind or filled with inspiration again.

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See you soon lovely people of the interwebs!

XO Rochelle Joy

Wow Fireworks. I’ll Save These For Later

Wow Fireworks. I’ll Save These For Later

Hello! Okay, so today’s post is inspired by one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE (Christmas) MOVIES! I’ve always loved the movie Home Alone. The first two were brilliant, the second was… okay, but like, not anything to go to town about. The fourth was dog shit awful. I watched it more out of obligation to the series… Nothing more. It’s still by far the best movie of my childhood (alongside My Girl and Free Willy) it’s a bit creepy at points, but that’s okay. Show me a movie today that is so freakishly absurd and hilarious without being vile and completely inappropriate. I know that he’s all grown up and not as cute as he once was (I mean,  who really is, besides the most amazing Ryan Gosling #habbahabba)

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Where to begin. So in this new phase where I’m able do things and kind of, make up my own my mind and stuff. I’m realizing that it’s really good to do things on your own. There’s a feeling of freedom and independence that comes with doing things by yourself and being able to simply, well, be by yourself. It’s weird sometimes, when I’m home alone and the only time I end up talking to someone is when I voice note my sister haha. But even then it’s not that bad, because I’m able to enjoy my own company from time to time! It’s an important thing to realize, because we’re constantly surrounded by people and we’re often terrified of being by ourselves, lest we have to deal with all the deep and dark corners of our lives we’re more than comfortable to ignore when we’re around other people.

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Be generous. This movie, with it’s vast craziness taught me that it’s good to be nice to people! Even if you don’t want to! The world needs more altruism and it starts with you and I darling. And, you don’t have to go full force and be mother Mary all in one go. Ease yourself into it, if you’re like me, you’ll add a little sass to your generosity; which I now realize is something I might have learnt from this movie in the first place! Thanks Kev 😉

HA Change

Heart break sucks. It sucks more than anything sucky I’ve experienced, so yes. Once you’ve been hurt it takes a toll on your heart and it becomes a bit hard after a while. You’ll start to question life and why you even try to love people when you just get hurt all the time. Your heart breaks all over again when you think that you’ve finally healed and that hurts like a bitch. But it’s important to know that you will heal completely and that you will be whole again, maybe not now, or tomorrow, or even next year, but you will be able to smile without the sadness looming behind your eyes. There is niceness left in you, it may be somewhere way, way deep down, but t’s there.

HA Heart

Geesh! That went deep quickly! Onto my next point. It’s okay to go absolutely bat-shit crazy. Let your Freak Flag Fly! Do what you need to do to stay true to who you are 🙂 I feel that sometimes we’re so used to norms and culture and adhering to social convention that we kind of becoming a non-unique species and complete creatures of habit. If you want to wear a floral and polka dot outfit combination, you do it. Absolutely love the crop top and skater skirt trend? Then do it unashamedly! Don’t feel like a freak for loving all things hip and mainstream, flip, just do it. If you want to talk in New Girl references for an entire afternoon, then why the hell not. You’re only young once, and you’ll only have this much energy at one point in your life, so make the most of it. Don’t undersell yourself for the sake of someone else. you’re doing yourself a huge injustice. And you will never understand the understated joy of being happy with just being weird haha.

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With that said, don’t take shit from anyone. People are going to hurt you and walk over you and then push you down and walk over you again. People suck actually, but anyway. So! To deal with the sucky people, you’re going to have to stand up for yourself and put your foot down. Don’t allow people to let their negativity dampen your bright smile and don’t allow people to make you feel weak to compensate for their own weaknesses. Stand up for yourself, be brave about your opinions and don’t settle! Baby Llama don’t need no drama!

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While we’re on the topic of people and their drama, hold on to the people that make you smile. There will always be the people in your life that you need to hold at arm’s length. There will be the people who screw you over, who break your heart, who make you want to give up your will to live. And then you’ll have those with whom you can’t seem to live without. The ones who you love endlessly, whose mere existence make you glad to be alive. Those who fill your heart with so much love that you can’t help but pass it onto others. Those are the one you need to hold on to.

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That’s all from me for now 🙂  Life is scary and people suck, but if Kevin Mc Callister could make it on his own while his family left the country without him, I’m pretty sure you can make it through today 😉

Love and learning to smile again,

Rochelle Joy xx

Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

Because Always Being Happy Kinda Sucks A Bit.

By now I’m sure you’re well aware that I’m the happy-go-lucky friend that sings and dances at the drop of a hat. So when the happy-go-lucky-friend has an off day, all the other people go ‘what is happening? why isn’t she talking? is she okay?’ and you’re forced to resume the character all your people are used to. What people don’t realize though, is that it’s perfectly normal to have an off day. Even for the person who’s happy all (or most) of the time.

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In all honesty, it takes a lot more effort to be happy all the time, for the sake of other people than when you’re actually happy because you’re genuinely happy. You know? I think I’ve used the word happy too many times, so many in fact that it’s now starting to sound weird. Happy. Ha ha.

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I think it stems from the fact that a lot of people rely on other people to make them happy or to make them laugh or whatever, and when you’re on the other side of that relationship, it becomes hella draining. With that being said, it’s just as much the fault of the (stars haha, close but not quite) happy-makee as it is the happy-maker (I make up a lot of words). We become so very used to fulfilling the role of the happy-maker that we don’t give ourselves a single moment to be down/sad/annoyed openly to other people, lest we offend them by not being happy.

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But then it got me thinking… Why do I do this to myself? Why do I fake being happy for the sake of other people when all I want to do is actually just be my sad self. I’m not a sad person, not at all, I’m as jolly as a unicorn at the end of a rainbow. But I have off days as well and sometimes I want to feel all the feels of those off days. Because if I’m Lady Smilesalot all the time, who am I when I’m not smiling? Who am I? I’m a regular 25 year old who’s most probably smiling on the inside, with my face down. Or, I’m in my room crying about something that made me sad a few weeks ago until I feel better.

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I’m being a lot more dramatic than needs be, but it gets annoying when you’re this person. The person who listens to everyone’s sad soppy stories day in and day out and you’re like, okay, I have issues too you know, but like, whatever. And then you get to the point where I am now, where I’m kinda of bitchy and well, mean. It’s awful actually, because if you’re not that way then you get walked over and ignored because your warmheartedness gets mistaken for ‘I’m a push-over who won’t stand up for myself and talk to you about what’s bothering me’.

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What’s funny is that I enjoy standing up for myself. I might come across as a bit of a bitch, but rather that than be the quiet little mousy girl who has to hold in absolutely everything she thinks and feels for the sake of selfish people who want to talk about themselves all the time. I’m happier being truthful and honest about how I feel, than being ‘happy’ because someone else needs me to be. It’s so exhausting being Beyoncé. Haha, that line has no relevance in this sentence.
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So hahaha yes, I think this post was one big rant more than anything else, and isn’t that why we have these cute media outlets? Right!  So I’m going to end off like I usually do, by saying that you should go ahead and be awesome, be yourself, love yourself, cherish the things that make you unique and speak your mind. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve and be happy when you’re happy and whatever else, when you’re not.

Love and my unrelenting desire to get another tattoo,

Rochelle xx

Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants.

Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants.

So! Seeing as I kinda very much enjoyed my Phoebe Buffay themed post, I thought I’d do something similar. This time however, I shall use my all time favourite movie Easy A as the subject. Mostly because Olive is amazing and I have the biggest girl crush on Emma Stone, she’s so hilarious.

Whoohoo! Here goes! A few things I learnt from Olive Penderghast (and the awesome people in the movie).

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There is absolutely no shame in singing, whatever it is you want to sing, wherever it is you want to sing it, whether you’re able to sing or not. I often get ridiculed for my taste in music (even though it spans across all genres, from Mumford & Sons to Muse, from Panic at the Disco to Pendulum, and from Taylor Swift to well, you kinda get my point 😉 ). So you can only imagine my joy and delight to watch a movie wherein she, Ms Pretty Cool But Doesn’t Really Realize it Yet, goes bat shit crazy to a song that is deemed as kinda really lame. But it made her happy, so she went for it!

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On the topic of singing to your heart’s content, it’s perfectly fine to spend the entire weekend at home, singing and dancing and doing that which makes your heart smile. Look at her, all happy and in her pjs on a Sunday night singing along to the song that once made her go ‘bleh, worst song ever.’

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This kinda reiterates the point I’ve already made in the Phoebe Buffay post about it being okay to curse from time to time. It doesn’t make you less of a lady when you do. If anything, it kinda makes you pretty badass, it puts you in touch with your emotions in a way that you just can’t express with beautiful modern day English.

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On that note, don’t limit yourself to the English language! Be bold, learn a new language, the world is vast and diverse and we have to much to learn from it, including new languages! I read something this week that said ‘Don’t make fun of people who speak broken English, it means they are fluent in another language.’ Which is so very true! I love it when people don’t speak English, I feel as if there is always something new to learn and we shouldn’t limit ourselves to what we know and what we’re comfortable with.

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Another thing I’ve learnt from Olive is that it is completely okay to be super excited about prospective dates. You will not end up like the saddest, craziest cat lady on the block because you are beautiful and fabulous and worthy of love, always. So be your awesome gorgeous self 😉

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I have one phrase for this one. HATERS GONNA HATE. I can’t leave it there, because I’m an elaborator (that’s not a word, it kinda sounds like a dinosaur) haha. Seriously though, there will always be people in and/or out of your life who will not agree with the way you do things. There will be people who simply don’t like you, for no apparent reason, and that’s okay. Don’t let the haters get you down, you can’t expect to be liked by everyone, you’re not a jar of Nutella (I stole that!)

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I love hyperbolic speak! There’s something about exaggerating that is just brilliant. Yes, it’s going to annoy a lot of people, but it makes you happy doesn’t it? And, when people actually see the humor in it, hold on to those people, because they are very few and far in between… At least they’re that way in my case anyway haha.
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It’s completely okay to want to have big romantic gestures. I think we’ve become too used to quick and easy (haha), microwave meal type things, that the romance of it all has gotten lost. So there is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting your life to be like an 80’s movie. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be treated like a princess and to be swept off your feet. Just realize that you’re the one who decides how you’re going to deal with what happens in your life. And whether it’s a musical or not though… Is completely up to you 😉

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Whatever you do though, just ensure that you’re happy doing it 🙂

Love and the need to watch this amazing movie again,

Rochelle xx

Thirty Minus Five Years Old

Thirty Minus Five Years Old

Whoohoo! Birthdays are the very best aren’t they? Well, they are, when you’re four years old, and you have a party the next day with all the cool kids you’ve invited and you know there’ll be cake and presents and party packs! Oh how fun birthdays were when we were younger.

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Well, those were simpler times. Now though, we have expectations and often times those expectations are not met. Also, now the thought of growing a year older isn’t as appealing as it was when we were younger. Because now, with age comes a whole lot of extra things that we don’t really want, but they’ll come anyway because well, they’re just like that.

So this year, I’m turning twenty five, whoop! And I’m not that petrified. Yes, I can no longer sing ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m turning twenty two’ and quite frankly, I couldn’t sing that song for the past two years, so I think I’ll manage haha. Because as wonderful as it was to have birthday parties at four years old, and even at twenty two, it’s so much better, in a whole new, exhilaratingly terrifying way when you get older.

Birthday Party

There’s something exciting about figuring out your life in your twenties, learning how to budget properly, saving religiously every month and making the tough choice between that adorable polka dot skirt, a Ken Follet book you haven’t read (I can’t believe there are so many) and then well, having food for the rest of the month. And let’s not even mention the love life situation. But with the stress of everyday life, comes a freedom that you smily do not have at four years old. You decide what it is you’re going to do about the condition of your life. After all, it’s just circumstantial, right? Most of the time, you think about your life and go hey, I’m here, this sucks, let’s order some cocktails shall we?!

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Because at the end of the day, we will look back to these days and count them as the ‘simpler times’ and I don’t want to look back in regret and think that I should’ve enjoyed it more. I don’t want to think that I’ve wasted my twenties being a stick in the mud and not actually playing in the mud. I feel like I say this often, but it’s so important to enjoy where we are at the point we’re at in our lives. Yes, things could be better, but they could also be a hell of a lot worse. So even though I’m not over the moon excited for my birthday tomorrow, it is a big day (yay quarter century!) and I will sum up the courage to be excited about it.

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We’re so used to having everything together, and when they’re not held together, we start to panic. But this is what life does though, the minute you think you’ve got it figured out, it comes and pulls the rug out from beneath your feet. And when you’re lying there, with your head on the ground and a pain in your butt , take a moment to appreciate what you have in your life. The people who stand beside you and support you and the fact that you’re better off than 70% of the world, is a pretty good thing to be thankful for 🙂

So yay to unconventional birthdays!

Love and The Anticipation of Calorie Free Birthday Cake,

Rochelle xx

Your Love Is Like A Giant Pigeon

Your Love Is Like A Giant Pigeon

Whoop! It’s Friday in this cold part of South Africa and what better way to spend it than to write posts about absolutely anything because, yay! So today I thought I’d round up a few of my favourite Phoebe Buffay (I had to Google the spelling he-he) quotes and kinda just throw them out there.

So here goes, a few things I’ve learnt from Phoebe Buffay.

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Firstly, Phoebe has taught me that love isn’t always as peachy and candle lit themed as one is made to believe it is. More often than not, love is messy and it hurts and it gets thrown in your face. Sometimes it’s not reciprocated and that can break you, or you can have it strengthen you and make you more ready for the next time. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing music and your lyrics don’t rhyme… At all. That’s okay.

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Secondly, she taught me that It’s so easy to become comfortable with the way that you’re used to living your life and you get to a point where you’re too scared to venture beyond the fences you’ve built up around yourself. (Taking into consideration the fact that she lived out of a box for most of her childhood.) Not knowing that in so doing, all you’re accomplishing is limiting yourself to new relationships, new experiences and discovering new things about yourself that are actually quote delightful. So have that extra glass of wine if you so please, do it for the kids 😉

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We don’t always have to do the things that people want us to do, when we don’t want to do it. People are so used to doing what everyone else is doing, mostly due to #fomo and also, we just want to be a part of everything. You know, there might be a really cool photo opportunity to post onto Instagram. You never know! So it’s okay to say no once in a while, it’s okay to decline an invitation if you’d much rather cuddle up with your favourite book, or just to spend time with very awesome self.

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It’s okay to get shy and giggle about silly things once in a while. This is a bit of an every day occurrence for me, either way, it’s great! We can take things so seriously sometimes that we genuinely suck the fun out of what might actually be a really sweet moment. That guys you think is totes gorge smiled at you and said he likes your new lipstick? Blush and walk away all red and flustered and then tell your favorite girlfriend all all secretively! Why not? It’s cute! And before you know it you’ll have to be planning retirement plans and working out your next mortgage. So yay to cute giggles!

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Sometimes life kicks you in the lady bits. And sometimes you want to vent about said kicking. At this moment, it’s okay to lose your lady-like grandeur and drop an F-Bomb… or four 😀 It’s not the end of the world and I assure you, from the mouth of a near-angel, it really does make you feel a whole lot better. Sometimes we’re so frigid, and get to the point where you’re just like, okay, but why? The world is not going to change the direction of rotation, trust me.

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Lastly, and what a fitting ending ha-ha. It’s okay say goodbye to something that isn’t good for you. Whether it’s a pair of shoes that is just past it’s good days, a person who continuously hurts you, a friendship that you know is toxic, or the adorable shirt you loved to bits but won’t let go of because of all the memories attached (even though you haven’t worn it in the last two seasons). Take out the things that don’t need to be there and make space in your life for what is better and what will make you happier… probably.

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Boo! That’s not Phoebe giving you a fright. That’s her dancing! So, dance. Even though social convention dictates dancing involves your butt doing weird things and by those standards you can’t dance- just go ahead and freaking dance anyway. You’ll probably scare some people in the process, but it’s your life so go wild flower child!

Love and cute little midi rings,

Rochelle xx

I Do Believe We’re Only Passing Through

I Do Believe We’re Only Passing Through

I’m trying to change things up a bit, so instead of starting with something out of my book of Pop Culture lyrics, I’ve gone with something more chilled and well… awesome, so thank you Ben Howard 🙂

Anyway! It’s Sunday and I’m supposed to be studying, because that’s just where I am in my life at the moment. Then I had a thought and I figured I might as well share it with the world, because we all know that an awesome thought means absolutely nothing if it’s not been followed by some sort of social media upload. Hashtag amirite????!

wink demi

I feel like I’ve spent all this time searching for awesome GIF’s that I’ve lost my train of thought! Anyways. So upon having a long discussion about life as a single twenty something, obviously Tinder found it’s way in there somewhere. When you’re in a relationship, it’s very easy to judge the decisions of the singles in your life.. When you’re on the there side, however, things change and you’re forced to have an open mind about everything. Not thirty minutes after said discussion, I decided to create an account and see what happens. Please know that I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m not looking for a fling, I’m not looking for anything. I just wanted to see what it was like. I was on for a whole of five minutes and quickly felt very intimidated. Some of the guys are really handsome. But also, it made me look at my pictures and question what I should write at the ‘about me’ section, because I want to be appealing. I have to hide my lameness, I should be cool. So I went into a bit of a panic, are the sun glasses too much, my forehead is too big, oh dear, there’s a picture of Alex. Ahhhhh!

phoebe madness

Then I went off of it and took a step back. Why am I doing this? What do I wish to accomplish? I don’t want any of the things that the guys are putting out there (haha) so why would I torment myself, even though it was five minutes, I was already trying to mould myself into a perfect little image for someone else. This completely defeats the purpose of finding yourself and learning to discover what it is that makes you happy and that makes you tick. If I go my entire life changing for person x, who is Rochelle at the end of it all?

We’ve become people who have to be perfect at everything we do. We’re not allowed to make mistakes, because God forbid, it just reiterates how imperfectly human we are. I am not a perfect person. I love singing and I can’t sing to save a life (see what I did there 😉 ). I can’t dance, but I will dance my heart out whenever I get the chance. My jokes are awful, and people laugh at me laughing at my jokes, more than the joke itself. Does that stop me from singing, dancing and telling my awfully hilarious jokes? No! Because it makes me happy. And what am I doing if I’m not happy?

So when I swiped through the profiles of the mostly average guys and read one or two… Maybe three bios, I realised that in-app dating is not really that different to in-bar/coffee shop/restaurant dating. You’re still checking the person out, getting to know the person and then deciding where it will go from there. All of this just happens behind a phone screen. You’re just able to exit a lot easier if you see it’s not going anywhere, which is kinda convenient, I suppose.

BJ Sigh

Still pretty daunting, right? So! As entertaining as it was, I don’t think I’ll be making it my main platform for well, meeting people. I’m awkward enough as it is, I think this will just make it so much more awkward. And for the record, I really enjoy being on my own. It’s something that I haven’t had the luxury of in so long and it’s so liberating. Do I get lonely, of course, do I miss being the apple of someone’s eye? Sure. But the time alone makes you very appreciative of the time you get to spend with people and it makes you treasure the people in your life so much more.

This time alone has made me realise how much I enjoy being by myself. Which is why I got all flustered about the Tinder thing. I think that for a while, I thought that because I am in no rush to get into a relationship, it made me weird or abnormal. But it doesn’t, the fact that I’m comfortable with my own company shows just how I don’t need someone. We will always want to be with someone, because two is always better than one. And there are times in one’s life that solitude and independence are what we need more. Maybe not forever, hopefully not forever, but it should be enjoyed.

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There’s a lot that you learn about yourself when you’re always by yourself. If I could, I’d take a trip into the wilderness, or the mountains and just soak it all in. Away from people and social media, I would take my books and my music, because hello… Books and music. Come on bro.

One of the most amazing things I’ve learnt recently is that when you fight for what you want, you don’t settle for second best. If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, you don’t force them to be. I’ve adopted this ‘eh’  attitude (actually, I’ve always had it, it’s just become more prominent) I love people, I love people a lot. But I don’t love a lot of people, so all the love that I have for the people in my life, it’s like, a lot. And when you know the love you have for people and it’s not appreciated, or it’s just swept to the side. Lady. Please. You become selfish with your time, your love, your affection. There is always someone who needs something more, so time wasted on someone who isn’t bothered, well bro, thank you and good bye.

People come into your life for a specific purpose, and when it’s good, you’re loved and cherished and when it’s not, you’re left stronger and wiser and so much more badass. You get to a point where you’re like, yeah well, I’m over it. It doesn’t matter what you say, or what you think, I’m still singing Taylor Swift with no regrets!

Pam

Thank you Pam Beesly, for always showing me where my priorities lie 😀

Love, Vanilla Candles and Cold Toes,

Rochelle Joy xx